“Those men reached the end of their rope,” James said. He seemed sad, almost apologetic. What a snake. What a true bastard.
“You killed them.”
“They killed themselves, Ben. That’s what the police will find, because that’s what happened. I don’t think you understand yet. However I want things to happen, that’s how they happen. I dictate reality. I do. Not you. Not them. Certainly not the police. Me.”
Realization dawned on me. “You cut off the investigation. You told the commissioner to make it stop.”
“Some business is best handled by those involved. The police always tend to muddle things anyway, in my opinion. Besides, this way was best. I promised the commissioner that I would find the man responsible for murdering my wife. And I have found him. It’s you.”
I sat back in my seat, shell-shocked. One by one, all the avenues of escape were closing around me. There was nothing left but this gray-eyed demon, playing me like a marionette. I’d been an idiot for so long. Ignorance was bliss. Awareness was hell.
“Are you going to kill me?” I asked. I turned to Carmen. “Do you want me to die?”
When she spoke, her voice was cold and clipped. “Did you do it, Ben? I want to hear you admit it. I want to hear the words come out of your mouth.”
I gathered all the seriousness I could into my throat and said, “I didn’t kill your mother, Carmen. It was him. If I have to die, so be it. But I’m not the man you’re looking for. He is.”
James planted his hands on the table and stood. “I’ve had enough. It’s been amusing for a while, but no more. I won’t have you keep lying to my daughter. You’ve hurt her plenty. She’s back to me, and I won’t let you continue to twist your claws in her heart. Your time is up, Ben. Go quietly, won’t you?” He gestured to his henchmen as they came back inside, fresh off killing two innocent men. “Bring him out back,” he ordered.
I didn’t resist as they stomped over and yanked me to my feet with their hands around my upper arms. One shoved me in the back towards the screen door. I walked through it, head hanging low. Behind me, I heard James and Carmen following.
We all gathered outside. I felt a kick in the back of my legs and I fell to my knees in the dirt. The sun was setting in the west. It looked breathtaking. I’d hardly ever taken a second to appreciate what a goddamn miracle it was that we had that great big ball of beautiful fire coming up and down every day to keep this planet alive and well. I’d never appreciated much of anything, really. Well, there was one thing.
Her.
Carmen was looking down at me from a few yards away. Her eyes were like her father’s—gray, distant, glacial. I’d appreciated her. I could honestly say I had. She’d done things to me I never expected and sure as hell didn’t deserve. A man like me, a bad man, deserved to die.
But did I deserve to die like this? Knees in the dirt, my own wife looking down on me as I bled out? My child was in her womb. It seemed beyond tragic that he’d be brought into the world with so much hatred swirling around him. Lies and blood and brutality. It was a sick planet, I decided. Maybe the sun only looked so beautiful because it was miles and miles away from us twisted humans.
My fists were rooted in the dirt. I stared at the ground. Every detail was crisp and vivid. The sounds of the twilight were impossibly rich. The smell of the air was perfect. My whole body knew I was about to die and it was taking the chance to savor every last thing one last time.
“I didn’t do it, Carmen,” I whispered. “Just remember I said that. And don’t tell our child its father died on his knees.”
“Shut the fuck up,” said one of the henchmen, prodding me in the back of the head with a gun.
James walked around in front of me. He took the gun from the henchman’s hand and said, “I want you to look me in the eyes when I kill you, Ben.”
I turned my gaze straight into his. The sky beyond his head was purple and deep. The stars were just starting to come out. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he cocked the gun and leveled it in the center of my forehead.
“Are you sure you want to see this, sweetie?” he asked Carmen. Sweetie. The picture of a perfect father, even as he got ready to execute his daughter’s husband. He was a filthy liar, but it didn’t matter how many times I said that. She wouldn’t believe me. He’d done a real fucking number on her head, and she was beyond my reach now.