“You said you loved him. Did you mean it?”
I stop struggling for a second, astounded by his stupidity. “Oh, my God! Is that what this is all about?!” I shout. “God forbid your ego be bruised. How fucking dare you? You have no idea what I’ve been through.” I struggle again with all my might, trying to break free. “You know what? This conversation is over. In fact…newsflash, Travis: we are over, so stop trying to rescue me.” I use my chest to push hard against his, willing the force of my adrenaline-fueled anger to push him away, but my attempts are futile. Frustrated, I shove at him again as I yell, “Fuck you, Travis Jackson!”
“Stop it!” His voice roars in my ears. “You’re going to listen to what I have to say. Right now, you don’t have the ability to discern what it is you need.”
I arch an eyebrow; incredibly pissed off doesn’t even cover the tip of the iceberg. The man is too audacious. “Oh, and you do? Maybe you need to dole out a little more Blyss, and then suddenly I’ll see the light, right? Isn’t that how this works, oh great purveyor of Blyss,” I spew in his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t take me back to the facility so you could start over from scratch.”
That might have been the wrong thing to say, because if smoke could come out of his ears, I have a feeling it would. Having to confront this man’s rage, I can see where anyone in their right mind would be shaking in their shoes, except I’m not in my right mind, and I’m no longer intimidated by him. I don’t even flinch when he lets go of me to pound his fists into the steel door, missing my head by inches.
My eyes narrow with venomous temper, daring him with my eyes to strike me. My voice turns low and deep, “You don’t scare me. You want to hit me, big man? Huh? Take your best shot, motherfucker.” I shove at his chest, egging him on. “You think you can force your bullshit on me, thinking you can mold my mind to your will. Well, if you think you can manipulate me by distorting my reality again with drugs and your useless charm, you’ve got another thing coming, you asshole.”
His breathing escalates to the point I think he’s going to blow, but I don’t care. “I’m not the same person anymore, Travis. If you could see into my soul, you’d run the other way. It’s ugly, very fucking ugly. The damage has been done, and there is no coming back from that.” The backs of my eyes begin to sting. I feel tears beginning to form, but I force them back down. “I had plans, damn you! I had plans of vengeance, and you stripped me of it.”
He leans in until we’re nose-to-nose as he speaks in a low, ominous tone, “You think you’re the only one in this life who’s suffered, or had bad shit happen to them? It’s the devil’s world, baby. Bad things happen to good people. Living for revenge will destroy your soul. Trust me; I know it firsthand. It will eat you alive, and then when you finally do get to deliver retribution, guess what? You’re still left feeling the same miserable emotions on the inside. You’re still consumed with immense hate, anger, and bitterness. It’s a downward spiral, and it makes you miserable for the rest of your life. You have to push that negative shit behind you and move on. You can age ungracefully, or you can fight, and the Jules I know isn’t a quitter.”
“I’m not your little soldier, you arrogant pig. You don’t have the right to talk to me about bad shit. When your world gets shattered to hell like mine, then maybe we can talk,” I spit back. “You don’t know shit.”
Immediately, I’m airborne and thrown over his shoulder. I scream out in both surprise and resentment. “Let me go!” I pound my fists into his back with all my might.
“My world has been shattered more times than I care to count. So looks like you owe me that talk.”
Upside-down, my heart pounds in my throat, wondering what he’s going to do with me. When we reach the bedroom, he unceremoniously tosses me onto the bed. Before my body has a chance to spring back from the mattress, his body weight lands on top of mine, pinning me down. He grabs my wrists again, and holds my arms out to the sides while he straddles my hips. I struggle in his hold, vexed that he’s so much stronger than me.
“I am so sick of you manhandling me, trapping me, drugging me, lying to me, and kidnapping me!” I yell, thrashing my body left and right. “Damn you!” I can’t break free, so I do the next best thing I know. I give up the fight and let my muscles go slack. I mentally shut myself down, allowing my eyes to glaze over, displaying a blank and empty Jules.