For Us (The Girl I Loved Duet 2)

Shit, thinking about blowing makes me think about Amber on her knees, mouth open, waiting for me. She hasn’t done that for me since we were together before, but I swear I remember it like it was yesterday. The lotion on my hand is slick, and suddenly this friction is perfect and delicious and god I’m going to come fast. I need to come fast.

In my mind’s eye I see her taking the tip of me in her mouth, cherry red lipstick coating my cock as she bobs up and down, taking me deeper. Those perfect eyes look up at me, and I swear she smiles, eager for me. It’s when her tongue strokes me that I lose it, pleasure blazing through my balls and up my spine and out. I stroke myself until every last drop of pleasure fades, my breath coming hard and fast as I lean back against the wall. The intensity of that orgasm was absurd, and Amber isn’t even here. Fuck.

I clearly need a new plan, because this one isn’t going to work.

Maybe I should talk to her. She said she wanted to, but I’m hesitant. My chest could be ripped open at any second, and she could tear my heart out, and stomp on it in front of me. And I would let her do it, because even if I pretend that I don’t, I love Amber. I always have. Shit.

I don’t know if this show is the best thing that ever happened to me or the worst. I was happy before the show, or happy enough. In the last couple of months, I’ve had more highs and lows than the entire ten years we were apart. Is risking everything for what I think would be true happiness worth the pain it would bring? My gut says yes, but my head remembers how hard it was when she left the first time. I could probably do it again if I had to, but that kind of pain isn’t something that I’d wish on anyone.

There’s a knock on my door, and I startle. “Yes?”

“Mr. Holleman? They need you in wardrobe for your next costume.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I’m still leaning against the wall with my cock out of my pants. Shit. I’m not holding this together very well. I’m glad that Michael hasn’t turned up yet today or he would lose his shit. He would be in here yelling at men about kissing Amber. And I probably would have punched him because I wouldn’t give that kiss back for the world, even if it was in front of the entire crew. Amber in Genova’s low cut, skin-tight top, the way she pressed up against me, it’s turning me on again, and I clean myself up and redo my pants before stepping out of the trailer, a nervous PA still standing there.

I know my way to the wardrobe closet, but I’m not going to take it out on the PA. He’s just doing his job, and based on how young he is, it’s probably his first one. I remember my first on-set job, I was about to piss myself the whole time.

Thankfully we’re doing some more easy shots this afternoon. No dialogue, no intense emotions, and no kissing. If I had to kiss her again I would combust. Not that that’s a bad thing. But the moment I walk onto the set again I know that things are different. This morning I was doing an okay job keeping myself separate. I wasn’t aware of where she was or what she was doing. I wasn’t trying to make her smile from across the room. Now, I feel like there’s a magnetic force that’s pulling towards each other, and I don’t fight it.

She’s looking down at her script as I approach, and she looks up when I step in front of her. The shock and relief in her eyes makes me want to kiss her again right here. “Amber.”

“Peter.”

“I was short with you this morning. I apologize. At some point I would be happy to talk about us.” I try to keep my tone as even as possible. This needs to be objective. We need to evaluate everything from every angle and decide. Or she does. I’ve made my decision and I’m hers if she’ll have me. She’s wearing that lipstick that I saw in my fantasy and I’m distracted by the sight of her lips.

“Really?” Her voice is breathless and hopeful.

I nod. “Yes. When there’s time.”

“Time?”

“You pick the time. I think we both have a lot to say, and I know we have a busy shooting schedule. But we’ll talk.” And more, I hope. Our reunion was way too short.

“Okay, we’ll set the time.” A small smile hovers around her lips. “Do I need to ask Michael to set it up like an official meeting?”