“What have you heard?” I asked as she sighed.
“You had other girls. People say that you were sleeping with them and then poof. They were gone.” She looked at me, long and hard. “I need this job. I need the money. I can’t risk that because you and Brandon are hot as hell, because this is my future. I can’t lose my future just because of some attraction.” She turned and walked into the house, and I watched as she got some more wine before she disappeared into the living room. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anybody right now and I licked my lips before turning to look over the city again. The sun was setting and the lights were coming on, reminding me of Dad and his values and business sense. He would never let this happen; would have never let it happen with the other assistants. I knew that there was something more with Jane, a tug that was going to be hard as hell to ignore.
We had to, though. We had no choice.
Everyone was called inside for dinner, plates loaded with food as voices rose in chatter. There were people seated at the long formal table, Jane and her mom squeezed in next to my mother as they laughed. I sat with my brother and some of the cousins in the kitchen as I kept an eye on Jane, Brandon following my gaze several times. We looked at each other, expressing the need that we felt as well as the urgency to stay away from her. I was going to go off on him for what he did outside as soon as I had the chance, irritated at his bold move.
Jane skillfully avoided us all night, getting to know everyone else in the house as she made the rounds. I saw her talking with Ashley and her boyfriend, a tall dark-haired kid with a rogue look in his blue eyes. At least, that’s what I saw. He sat close to her, his arm slung protectively around Ashley’s shoulders as she talked closely with Jane, smiling as she seemed to draw comfort from her.
Everyone left in groups, hugs and holiday wishes echoing through the house. I said goodbye on auto pilot, hugging everyone warmly as I accepted their well wishes. I kissed Chelsea’s cheek and thanked her for coming before looking down at Jane’s impassive face as she shuffled out of the door.
I grabbed another beer and went upstairs, sitting on the bed as I looked out of the window. Brandon stepped in and I didn’t look at him before speaking. “What the hell was that outside?”
“I barely touched her,” he said as I glared at him. “After everything else we’ve done, that was nothing.”
“We. Can’t. Touch. Her.” I said slowly as he looked at me. “She said that she doesn’t want that and I want to respect that. She isn’t like the others, Bran.”
“Have you seen the way that she looks at us? Those damn eyes make me want to kiss her senseless,” he murmured as I shook my head. “I kissed her cheek. That’s it.”
“That is where it ends. We have girls for that so use them. Not her. I don’t want to fuck up her future,” I said, ending the conversation with my tone. He stood for a moment before going to his own room and I leaned back against the pillows. The day was hitting me as I took a long tug from my beer, feeling the emotions well up inside of me.
There was a part of me that felt like Jane would be good for the hurt side of me; that she would soothe me.
Brandon
We had the weekend off work and when we were with the family, Brent was in good spirits. I could see in his eyes that something was eating away at him though, particularly when Mom and Ashley talked about how sweet Jane was. She was under his skin and I frowned as I sipped my iced tea over lunch. We both wanted her and I saw the way that she looked at us, but Brent said that she told him no. We would never force ourselves on a girl.
I went out that Saturday, separate from Brent. I noticed that night when I walked in late that he wasn’t home yet and grinned, hoping that he was working whatever the hell was wrong with him out of his system. I wasn’t an insensitive asshole and I knew that he missed Dad as much as the rest of us did, and I would try and let this thing with Jane go. Damn it if she didn’t look at me like she wanted me to kiss her; to corrupt her. I knew he felt it as well, but Brent had more willpower than I did.
We woke up Sunday and had a lazy breakfast with Mom and Ashley downtown, sipping mimosas as we both tried to wake up. Brent had obviously tied one on last night by the circles under his eyes that Mom looked closely at before she gazed at me. “You boys okay?”
“Yeah, just parties last night. Long weekend and all, Mom.” Brent smiled at her as she nodded slowly and sipped her own drink. “We work too much to party like this all of the time. We wanted to live it up.” His tone suggested anything but that and I knew she noticed by the way her brows furrowed.
I fit in another girl Sunday evening, hanging out at her apartment in her bed as I fucked her every way that we could think of. It made me realize that the girls that I was choosing were all into this game of jumping from one bed to another, and it wasn’t as appealing as Jane’s innocent eyes.
Fuck me.
I got home and went to sleep for a few hours, waking up at the usual time for work. I sensed the tension in the air as we gulped coffee down and headed to the car, and I tried to focus on the busy day and getting in as much as we could this week. Things would slow down slightly, but there was a lot of catching up for everyone now.
It didn’t feel like we’d celebrated Christmas. I enjoyed family being there at the house but it didn’t have that warm feeling as it normally did for me. It felt empty and I knew who we were all missing. The sad look in Mom’s eyes despite all her mingling and the haunted expression on my sister’s face played through my mind over and over.
I also replayed what happened with Jane. It was so small compared to anything I did with any other girl this weekend, but the feeling of her soft skin against my rough lips was something that I’d never forget. We parked in the garage and went inside, being some of the first to arrive to the floor. We walked to the office and opened it up as got our computers set up in the quiet of the morning. I looked around at the pictures that were scattered around the room, thinking of past holidays and it hit me that he was gone. Dad was never coming back.
We got caught up on emails and company memos before opening the order software. We heard someone outside of the door and Brent raised an eyebrow as he stood and peered out. “Good morning, Jane. How was your weekend?” I heard a murmured response before he came back in, offering me a shrug as he sat back down.
Apparently, Jane was working at her desk today and every day that week. She was polite to us, and I still felt the heat every time that I walked past her and met her eyes before she looked away again, hating myself for what I did the other night. I couldn’t help myself, and I felt her shiver against me when I touched her, knowing that she liked it. I knew that she was different that Veronica and even Cecile, but I was okay with that. I wanted her to be different, and though I didn’t know how that would pan out, I wanted to see.
We had a three-day weekend after that for New Year’s and Brent, and I attended a party at a friend’s house, kissing and fucking god only knows who after midnight. I didn’t feel the same excitement that I had in the past, knowing that this was a whole different life. I made sure to take Mom to brunch with everyone on Sunday despite my hangover since all the emptiness that we were feeling had to be a million times worse for her. She smiled at us as we ate the breakfast fare and tried to look strong. She always went out of town for New Year’s with Dad, and this was the first time that she was home in many years. We knew that Ashley and the boyfriend stayed home with her, which was the only way that we’d go out. Mom kept up a steady chatter about the events coming up for Ashley and some things she had planned with friends as I sipped a beer and looked at Brent. Jane came up as well, and she remarked about how nice she and her mother were, watching as we both nodded. She knew the kind of girls that we hung out with generally, and while she was kind about them, we knew that wasn’t crazy about them as far as a future. We also knew that Mom was well-aware of the rules at work and would never encourage one of us to pursue her. That was no kind of example to set for the staff. I suppressed a shudder as I imagined her finding out what we’d been up to. We were always wild but acting the way that we did at work was risky, and something Dad would frown upon.
Brent drove us home and we watched some football in the living room until dinner, which was a rack of lamb that Monica prepared for us. I ate and joined in the conversation as I kept thinking about Jane and her soft skin, busted when Mom repeated my name. “What? Sorry, Mom. I guess I’m zoning out.”
She repeated that she would be close by on Wednesday and wanted to come in for lunch, and Ashley piped in that she wanted to go once she realized that Jane was invited. They bonded on Christmas, and I was surprised to hear that they kept in touch via text here and there. I looked at Brent, imagining lunch with them as he stared back with a dark gaze. I knew that he was a little sore with me for kissing her the way that I did, but I argued that it would be uncomfortable no matter what. There was a heat between all of us that was significant no matter how much he tried to ignore it. Maybe he was jealous that it wasn’t him that kissed her, and the image of the three of us in bed flashed through my mind as I pinched the bridge of my nose for a long moment. Holy hell, it was hot.
We headed home and went to bed early, though I just watched a movie mindlessly before finally falling asleep. I heard Brent’s on as well and assumed that he was watching his too. We weren’t as close this week as we normally were, feeling tension over the Jane situation. I needed to remedy that, but I closed my eyes and sighed as the television droned in the room at the soft volume that I had it set to.
I woke up and rushed to dress as I met Brent by the car, yawning as we drove in. He seemed tense, and I followed him into the building, making a beeline for coffee before I got started. I came in to see Brent reading the screen as I
set a cup near him and raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”