Illegal Contact (The Barons 1)

“Yeah, that’s fair,” he said. “We let it happen and never talked about it. I know you care about me. I know you want me in your life. And I hope you know the same is true for me even though I left.” A trace of a smile reappeared on his face. “Marcus came by with Jasmine, and he acted like I’d broken your heart into pieces. Dead serious talking about how him hanging out with me was against ‘Bro Code.’”

This was a story I hadn’t heard, and it brought a hoarse laugh bubbling out of my throat. Marcus was one of the most loyal guys I’d ever met, and I could perfectly picture him giving Noah the business about leaving me cold. Except, he hadn’t left me cold. I’d let him go.

“I think they both know I want you here with me, and that I never want you to leave.”

Noah slowly nodded, but otherwise his expression was still. “When you say never, you mean . . .”

“I mean I want to be with you. Be the Lois to your Clark, as Simeon said.”

“I love the fact that you’re Lois.”

“I knew you would.” I kissed the corner of his mouth, and loved how his eyes slid shut at the contact. His little sigh of happiness. This was how it should have been all along. “Seriously, though, I want us to be together, Noah. No fitness models. No mechanics. No paparazzi or media scaring me off and making me doubt us. Just you and me, and our nosy-ass opinionated friends.”

Noah’s mouth twitched, but he kept searching my eyes as if looking for a sign that this wasn’t for real. That I’d change my mind, or I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about what I was saying. There was a time when him not automatically buying into my claim would have pissed me the hell off, but now I wondered if he was being cautious because he was worried about whether he’d be safe with me. Maybe, like Marcus’ ex-girlfriend, wondering if there would come a point when I’d inevitably break his heart.

“I wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t for real,” I said. “I’d have just let you go. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Then why did you change your mind? Why now, of all times, did you choose to come out?”

“Couple of reasons.”

Noah gave me his impatient eyebrow raise. The one that was almost as bad as him actually shouting at me to get the fuck on with it.

“First off—I’ve been regretting our conversation since the moment you walked out the door. It’s just this thing where . . . I had to realize this doesn’t happen to people like me.” I brushed my fingers along his face, grinning when he leaned into it. “I don’t click with people, let alone have feelings this strong. Wanting you to be mine and all of this over-the-top, mushy shit. But I feel that for you. I want those things with you. And I let you walk because I’m afraid of losing football because it’s been part of me for so long. Since I was a kid, it was all I had.”

“And that’s not the case anymore?” Noah sat up with his legs folded beneath him, body still sweaty and covered with red indents from my grasping fingers. “When we met, you said football had saved you. Even a couple of months later, you seemed like you were in withdrawal without it. Climbing the walls and ready to drive out to Jersey to get a real practice in even if it meant you violating your house arrest.”

“I was, but that doesn’t mean things don’t change.” I lay on my back with him hovering over me, pale body naked and lean under the lamplight. “I don’t know if I’d have been saying this a few years ago, but right now if it’s a choice between someone I want in my life indefinitely and a sport I’ll have to retire from in a couple of years, I’d be a fucking idiot to choose the NFL.”

“You shouldn’t have to choose at all. You love football.”

“I’m not denying that.” I grabbed the back of his neck and guided him back down to me. “I do love football, but I love you more. And your ass is less likely to decide I’m too old once I hit thirty-three.”

Instead of laughing, Noah gave me that skeptical eyebrow again. “You’re really going to drop the L word in between profanity and jokes?”

“Baby, I dropped it earlier and you didn’t even react,” I said, kissing him again. “Besides, you cursed a paparazzo to hell for wandering down the wrong part of the beach one time. I’m pretty sure I knew I loved you right then and there.”

“You had a funny way of showing it.” Noah pressed his thumb against my mouth, stroking my lower lip. “You know I feel the same way, right?”