The Law of Attraction
Page 20
“Not in the way they think.” Alec sighed. “She’s called Belinda. She’s an old friend from Oxford, and she’s more than happy to pretend to be a casual girlfriend for social occasions—especially ones involving free alcohol and nice restaurants.”
“Handy.” Ed kept his voice light.
“So you see, coming out would be a little more complicated for me than it was for you.”
“I suppose.” Ed wanted to know more about why Alec was so deeply closeted in the first place, but he sensed Alec would clam up if he tried to dig. The wine seemed to have loosened his tongue a little, yet only within careful limits.
“You turning up on Monday morning was the last thing I needed.”
“I’m sorry to be such an inconvenience.” Ed tried to make it sound like a joke, but his throat was dry and it came out tight and awkward. “It’s not a barrel of laughs for me either, you know.” He met Alec’s gaze. Alec’s hazel eyes were almost luminous with the way the light caught them. Ed felt pinned, unable to look away despite his rising discomfort as Alec stared at him.
“Maybe if we fuck each other again, we can get it out of our systems?” Alec suggested.
His tone was so conversational that it took a moment for Ed to register what he’d said, but then his heart surged and all the blood in his body redistributed itself in a lightning bolt of arousal. He blinked, wondering whether he’d really heard Alec right. The words replayed in his head on a loop. “You have to be kidding me.”
Alec wasn’t smiling. “I’m deadly serious.” His poker face was impressive.
Ed studied him, desperately hoping his own emotional turmoil wasn’t obvious. He searched for a chink in that impassivity, trying to work out what the fuck Alec was thinking, but there was nothing there to give him a clue. “What on earth makes you think it would be a good idea to go down that road again?”
“Who said it was a good idea?” Alec’s lips twitched, finally betraying something, although amusement wasn’t what Ed had been expecting.
He found himself responding against his better judgement, a smile tugging at his mouth as he replied. “Typical bloody lawyer.”
Alec grinned properly then, and Ed realised it was the first time he’d seen Alec with his guard down. He was so beautiful when he smiled that it made Ed’s chest ache with wanting to see it more often.
“Okay.” Alec held up his hand, ticking his arguments off on his fingers as he spoke. “We’re both adults, we already know we’re sexually compatible, you’ve shown you can be discreet, and we’ve already done it once, so it’s too late to worry about it.”
“We’ve set a precedent, you mean?” Ed raised his eyebrows.
“Exactly. So, what do you say?”
“Who said I need to get you out of my system?” Ed asked, attempting nonchalance.
“Are you hard right now?” Alec’s gaze bored into him.
Ed felt a shameful rush of heat rise from under his collar to the tips of his ears. He opened his mouth to deny it, but nothing came out.
“I rest my case.”
Alec folded his arms, a smug grin stretching over his face, and Ed wanted to kiss it away with fierce, biting kisses. Ed stared at Alec as the seconds ticked by. He felt as though he was poised on the edge of a cliff ready to dive. The water below beckoned, luring him down, but who knew what rocks or monsters lay below the surface? The fall might be exhilarating, but Ed wasn’t sure he’d survive it.
Self-preservation won out over temptation. “No,” he said firmly. “There’s no way it could end well.”
A muscle clenched in Alec’s jaw but he held Ed’s gaze. “I’m not looking for a happy ending,” he said lightly. “Just a mutual relief of tension. It would make a nice change from finding a stranger to fuck.” Something in the tone of his voice made Ed feel an odd rush of pity. How lonely must Alec be to ask this of Ed?
Ed shook his head, trying to stay strong. “It would be way too complicated.” His feelings about Alec were already a clusterfuck of confusion. The last thing he needed was to add to it by fucking Alec again. “I think it would be better to keep our relationship strictly professional.”
Alec’s jaw tightened, but whether it was with anger or disappointment, Ed couldn’t tell. “You’re probably right.” Alec sounded defeated. He looked away from Ed, down at the glass in his hand.
Ed almost wished Alec hadn’t given up trying to persuade him so soon. If he’d been a little more persistent, he might have been impossible to resist.
“I’m sorry,” Ed said softly. Without thinking about what he was doing, he reached across the table and touched the back of Alec’s hand, his fingertips grazing the dark hairs that dusted it.