“Why? You weren’t the one sucking my dick in the shrubbery.” Alec’s dry chuckle had no humour in it.
Ed couldn’t bring himself to join in with Alec’s attempt at a joke. Instead he said, “And now they believe you’re straight?”
“I did a good job of convincing them I prefer girls. They were more than happy to believe me and write off my indiscretion as hormone-driven stupidity. That made me less of a disappointment.”
Ed didn’t know what to say. His mother had hugged him when he’d told her he was gay. She had told him she loved him and that all she wanted was for him to be happy. His heart hurt for Alec and the shame and hatred he still carried inside.
Alec carried on talking, filling the uncomfortable silence. “Of course, since I turned thirty a couple of years ago, they’ve ramped up the pressure on me to marry. They don’t approve of Belinda, but they’re desperate for grandchildren to carry on the Rowland name. My younger brother, Caspar, isn’t showing any signs of settling down either—and any child he fathers is likely to be illegitimate. So I’m their best hope.” Alec laughed bitterly. “Poor sods. One wayward son and one secretly gay one.” He glanced at Ed, then looked out of the window. “Sorry. I’m banging on. I don’t normally talk about this family stuff with anyone apart from Belinda.” He looked embarrassed.
“It’s okay,” Ed said. And it was. He was flattered that Alec trusted him enough to open up and say the things he’d said. “Does Caspar know you’re gay?”
“He may suspect,” Alec replied. “He knows what happened at school, and I’m not sure he ever believed Belinda’s really my girlfriend. But we haven’t discussed it for years.”
“Would he care?”
“I doubt it. He works in the fashion industry. He has plenty of gay friends, so I can’t imagine he’d have a problem with it.”
“Maybe you should tell him.”
“Maybe.” Alec changed the subject. “What’s your family like?”
“Very different to yours, by the sound of it. My mum and stepdad are pretty great. We clashed sometimes when I was a teenager, like everyone does, but they were awesome when I came out.”
“Have you got brothers and sisters?”
“Three sisters. Well… half-sisters.” Ed smiled as he thought of the girls. “They’re monkeys, especially the twins.” He launched into some anecdotes to make Alec smile, and by the time they got to the airport, the atmosphere had lifted.
On the plane, Alec took the seat by the window.
“This is so exciting,” Ed said, leaning across him to peer out of the window as the plane moved along the runway. “I haven’t been on a plane in ages, not since I went to Ibiza the summer after I did my A levels.” He blushed. “Sorry, I sound like such a hick. I expect you fly all the time, don’t you?”
“Quite a bit, yes.”
Something about Alec’s tone made Ed look at him more closely. Alec was rigid with tension. He was breathing slowly and deeply, but his face was pale and there was a tightness to his expression.
“Are you okay?” Ed asked cautiously. Alec had the look of a man who might bite his head off for asking.
The note of the engines changed as the plane sped up, and a muscle ticked in Alec’s jaw. “I’m not a fan of flying. But I’ll be a little better once we’re in the air.”
“Oh, right. Not long now.”
The engines roared; the final thrust of acceleration pushed Ed back into the seat, and his stomach swooped as the plane lifted off the runway into the evening sky.
Ed couldn’t resist leaning across Alec again to watch as the lights of the city fell away beneath them and the plane banked, curving around to head north. Exhilarated, Ed grinned at Alec, who still looked as though he were carved out of granite. “They’ll bring the drinks trolley round soon. You look like you need one.”
Alec glanced sidelong at him, and his lips twisted into a tight smile. “Yes. Apparently alcohol helps enormously in the event of a plane crash.”
Ed chuckled.
Even when the seat belt lights went off, Alec was still tense, so Ed distracted him by pulling out the draft purchase agreement and notes for the meeting tomorrow. He knew Alec would be able to focus on those, and maybe it would stop him being afraid that the plane was about to fall out of the sky.
Sure enough, Ed’s questions and queries soon had Alec focused on him rather than their surroundings. Ed hid a smile, relaxing as Alec’s tension eased.
When the cabin crew came around offering drinks, Alec asked for mineral water and Ed followed his lead. He was tired, and alcohol would only make him sleepy. He wanted to be able to focus on what Alec was saying. Tomorrow was a big day.