Alec kept those thoughts to himself, not wanting to put a damper on the evening, but more than ever he realised how isolated he was. This weekend with Ed was like a shining, stolen moment of someone else’s life: someone who let people in instead of shutting them out, someone who wasn’t afraid to let himself care, to let himself fall in love.
Alec’s reserve melted in the warmth of Ed’s company, and when Ed pressed his ankle against Alec’s under the table, Alec ignored the instinct to pull away and kept his leg there.
Neither of them wanted dessert, but they ordered liqueur coffees. As Ed sipped at his, he fiddled with the teaspoon, spinning it on the dark red tablecloth as they talked. Alec realised Ed was as nervous as he was, and that gave him the courage to reach out and deliberately touch his hand. He put his hand over Ed’s, stilling the movement of Ed’s fidgeting and locking their fingers together.
Ed jerked his head up and met Alec’s gaze. “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know,” Alec replied honestly. “I just know I have to do it.”
Ed nodded. “Me too.”
They stared at each other, fear and uncertainty reflecting back and forth.
“Shall we go?” Alec asked.
“Yes,” Ed replied softly.
They didn’t even wait for the bill. Alec left enough cash on the table to cover it along with a generous tip.
Out in the darkness of the street, Ed took Alec’s hand. “Is this okay?”
“It’s good.” Alec squeezed Ed’s hand, their bare fingers already cooling in the freezing night air. They should probably put gloves on, but he wanted to feel Ed’s skin.
He forgot about Ed’s sore foot until Ed tugged on his hand.
“Alec, can you slow down a little?”
“Sorry, Hopalong.” Alec grinned. “I forgot.” He let go of Ed’s hand and wrapped an arm around him instead, encouraging Ed to lean on him. “Better?”
“Much.” Ed put his arm around Alec’s waist and held on tight.
When they turned down a side street where it was quieter and darker, Alec couldn’t wait anymore. He brought them to a stop and tugged Ed around to face him.
“What?” Ed’s face was beautiful, his features heightened by the play of light and shadow.
Alec put his hands up to touch Ed’s cheeks, then slid his hands around the back of Ed’s neck and pulled him gently into a kiss. Ed made a soft, humming sound of approval, wrapping his arms around Alec until their bodies were fused. His lips were cool, but the inside of his mouth was warm and sleek.
They kissed until Alec was breathless. He pulled away to stare at Ed again. Giddy with the wild, reckless freedom of kissing Ed like this, out under the sky instead of hidden away, he smiled wide and joyful, and Ed smiled back.
They kissed again in the hotel lift. Alec couldn’t wait. Impatient and desperate, it was as though the years had dropped away and he was a teenager again. He’d kissed countless men before, he’d fucked and sucked, but he’d never felt like this. Everything was new and thrilling and terrifying all at once.
“My room?” he asked as the lift reached their floor. He was suddenly afraid Ed might pull away, that he might have changed his mind.
“Yours has the better view, but do you have condoms?”
“Fuck, no.” Alec couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that. “I’ll run back down and find a late-night shop or a pub with a machine in the toilets.”
“I’ve got some. Let’s go to my room.” Ed took Alec’s hand and tugged him along the corridor.
“You packed some?” Alec wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or offended that Ed thought he was so easy.
“I didn’t think I’d get to use them, but now I’m glad for my relentless optimism. It paid off for once.”
As soon as they were inside Ed’s room with the door locked behind them, they kissed again. Desperate for Ed’s skin, for his touch, Alec didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t want to stop kissing him, but he wanted him naked. They stripped each other between kisses, cursing as buttons stuck and heads got trapped in T-shirts, but somehow they managed to get all their clothes off.
“Hang on. Lube and condoms are in the bathroom.” Ed went to get them.
Alec watched his arse as he went, and admired the sway of his hard cock as he returned.
“Here.” Ed tossed the supplies down on the bed.
They paused then, facing each other.
“What do you want to do?” Ed asked.
“Anything. Everything. Whatever you want?”
“Anything?” Ed raised his eyebrows, looking amused.
Alec couldn’t think of anything he’d refuse Ed right now, but he was still relieved when Ed took Alec’s cock in his hand and said, “I’d really like you to fuck me again. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you inside me.”