The Law of Attraction

“You twisted my arm,” Alec said to James. His glass was empty, so he caught the eye of one of the servers and they placed their orders.

James ordered yet another cocktail and didn’t seem to notice or care that Alec and Ed both ordered soft drinks.

“I’m going to wring out a kidney,” James got up, wobbling unsteadily. Alec put out a hand to stop him lurching into the table and watched as he wove his way towards the toilets.

Ed laughed once he’d gone. “Someone’s going to be feeling rough in the morning.”

“Yes.” Alec shook his head ruefully. “He doesn’t usually drink much, so he’s not used to it.” He picked up James’s glass, which was still half-full of orange liquid. “Do you think he’ll notice if this disappears?”

“I doubt it.”

Alec took a sip of the potent mixture and wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. I was going to try and save him from himself, but this is disgustingly sweet. I think it involves peach schnapps. Can you stomach it?” He offered the glass to Ed, who took it, looking dubious.

Ed sniffed it, but that was as far as he got. “God, it’s definitely got peach schnapps in it. So that would be a no from me.” Before Alec realised what Ed was doing, Ed poured the disgusting concoction into a large potted plant that stood beside their table. “Best place for it.”

“Poor plant.” Alec laughed. “It will probably kill it.”

Ed shrugged. “Better the plant than James. It will be a miracle if he makes it home without throwing up in the taxi as it is.”

The next round arrived just as James got back from the toilet. He picked up his new drink—luckily he seemed to have forgotten the existence of the one they’d disposed of.

“I’ll probably regret this in the morning,” he said before taking a huge slurp.

Alec thought he was going to regret it rather sooner than the morning, but he kept that to himself.

By the time they’d finished the final round of drinks, James was practically falling asleep on the table. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “It’s not jus’ the booze. Late nights and early mornings… you know how it is.”

Alec patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. He knew the strains of the job only too well, and he didn’t have an early-rising toddler to add into the equation. “Let’s get you into a taxi and send you home to Emily.”

James nodded owlishly, his head propped up on one hand.

“Where do you live, James?” Ed asked.

“Stoke Newington.”

“That’s on the way out to where I live. I’ll share a cab with you.”

“You sure?” Alec asked him quietly. James’s eyes had slipped closed; he was past paying much attention to the conversation around him.

“It’s probably for the best. I’m not sure he’ll make it home otherwise. James, what street and what number?” Ed nudged James until he opened his eyes and mumbled out his address while Ed typed it into his phone.

They supported James out of the bar. He could barely walk now. With one arm around each of their shoulders, they practically carried him down the road to the taxi rank.

“I’ll come with you,” Alec said, shifting James’s dead weight. “He’s completely out for the count. You’ll never be able to get him to his own front door.”

“But it’s in the wrong direction for you. You’ll be miles from home.”

“That’s what taxis are for.” Alec sighed.

“Good thing they pay you well.”

“I should claim this on expenses. Katherine told me to take my team out and celebrate. Though I’m not sure she had this level of celebration in mind.”

Ed laughed. “Celebration or drunken debauchery. There’s a fine line.”

When they made it to the front of the queue, another black London taxi pulled up within minutes. The cabbie frowned when he saw the state of James. “He’s not gonna throw up, is he, mate? Because there’s a clean-up charge if he does.”

“He’ll be fine,” Alec assured him. He wished he were as confident as he sounded.

Miraculously, they made it to James’s house without mishap. James slept the whole way, his head back and mouth hanging open, seated between them. Alec asked the driver to wait while they manhandled James out of the back of the car. The sudden shock of cold air after the warmth of the cab woke James up a little and he managed to stand, albeit unsteadily.

“Where are we? Oh!” The surprise on his face at realising he was on his own doorstep was comical. He fumbled around in his pocket for his key but couldn’t manage to line it up in the lock, so Ed did it for him. Finally the door opened and James staggered in with one hand on the wall for support. Alec glanced inside to check whether there was another locked door he needed to get through, but it looked as though James lived in a maisonette that had its own front door, which they’d just passed through. There was a light on in the hallway, and Alec saw a shoe rack and a line of coats on hooks, including one small pink one. They were in the right place, then; their duty done as far as Alec was concerned.