“Night, James,” Alec said. Then he closed the door behind James and made sure it locked.
He turned to Ed. “Your place next, then, if it’s close to here? And then I’ll get the driver to take me all the way back to Pimlico.”
“Okay.” Ed yawned, covering his mouth.
James obviously wasn’t the only one who’d been short on sleep this week.
Back in the taxi, there was a space between them where James had been. Alec desperately wanted to slide over, to take Ed’s hand or put an arm around him. But Ed wasn’t his to touch, and he didn’t have the right. For the first time in the weeks that he’d known Ed, Alec had a glimmer of hope. Next week he was getting the promotion he’d been waiting for. Maybe once he’d got the job, he could begin to dismantle the mess of lies and omission around his personal life.
“We probably won’t be working together now this deal is over,” Alec said.
Ed turned his head to look at him. “Oh?”
“Katherine asked me, and I recommended they move you to a different department.” Ed’s brow furrowed, so Alec added hastily, “Not because you did a bad job, far from it. I told her the truth. You did really well. But she’s going to see whether they have anything for you in Employment. I know that’s where you’d prefer to be working, anyway.”
“Oh, wow. That’s great, thank you.” Ed said, and then he gave a small smile. “I suppose it’s probably for the best… for other reasons too.”
“Exactly.” Alec didn’t elaborate. The other reasons were making him want to pull Ed into his lap in the back of this taxi right then.
They fell silent, and Alec couldn’t help wondering whether Ed’s mind had gone to the same place his had—to that hotel room in Scotland and the night they’d spent together. His yearning for Ed was so strong it was hard to resist, but Ed had made it very clear it was over between them. Alec couldn’t blame him, and in a weird, twisted way, he was glad. Ed deserved better. Alec didn’t want to drag Ed into his lonely closet.
His heart heavy, Alec let his head fall back against the headrest and allowed the exhaustion of the week to overwhelm him. He closed his eyes and his thoughts drifted, lulled by the hum of the engine.
When the taxi lurched to a stop, Alec sat up, blinking. He’d dozed off, and for a moment he’d forgotten where he was.
“This is where I get out.” Ed got a twenty pound note out of his pocket and tried to give it to Alec, who waved it away. “No, take it. It’s for my share of the taxi. It’s going to cost you a fortune to get all the way back to your place from here as it is.”
“James will chip in on Monday, I’m sure.” Alec took the money anyway. He sensed Ed’s pride would make him argue, and the longer the driver had to wait, the more the numbers ticked over on the meter.
“Goodnight.” Ed hesitated for a moment, and then he put his hand on Alec’s leg and squeezed. “Good luck with your dad’s birthday thing tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” Alec said, touched that Ed had remembered. “I hope you have fun with your family.” Ed’s face registered surprise, so Alec added, “I heard you talking to Maria about it earlier. Have a good weekend, Ed. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Ed smiled before patting Alec’s knee and removing his hand. “Thanks. Bye.”
“Where to next, mate?” The cabbie asked as Ed got out.
“Pimlico.”
As the taxi pulled away from the kerb, Alec closed his eyes again. Ed’s smiling face floated into his imagination. Until recently, Alec had always thought of his flat as a sanctuary. Peace and solitude away from the noise and bustle of the rest of his life. Now it felt as though he were heading towards an isolation chamber. He wished he could have asked Ed to come home with him, but surely Ed would have refused. Alec sighed. For once he was grateful for the bone-deep tiredness at the end of the working week. He’d have no trouble sleeping tonight, no matter how miserable he was feeling.
CHAPTER TEN
Ed was up bright and early on Saturday morning. He’d been too tired to pack before he went to sleep the night before, so he had to hurry now. He showered, had breakfast, dressed, and brushed his teeth, packing a few things into an overnight bag as he went. He hadn’t booked a train ticket, so it didn’t matter too much what time he got to the station, but he wanted to try and get home as early as possible so he could spend the maximum amount of time with his family.
He made it to Victoria Station shortly after half nine and was on a train by ten. He texted his mum to let her know what time he’d be getting in and told her he’d get a taxi so he wouldn’t need a lift from the station. Ed settled back with his earbuds in, listening to Vampire Weekend as the train carried him south, towards the coast and home.