“This is why I lied,” he said quietly.
His mother gasped, but Alec carried on speaking, his voice gaining strength as the words spilled out of him, fuelled by anger and fierce pride in himself for finally finding the courage to do what he should have done years ago.
“You beat me, Father. You treated me as if I was disgusting. You made me ashamed. You made me hate myself for something I couldn’t help. It took me years to understand that there’s nothing wrong with me. You are the one who is wrong. Maybe I can never change your mind, and frankly, I’m not even going to try. This is who I am. Deal with it, or cut me out of your life, because I’m not lying to anyone anymore.”
The lines around his father’s eyes deepened. He seemed stunned into silence by Alec’s tirade. His mouth was a grim line and he stared at the table, not meeting Alec’s eyes.
His mother choked out a sob. “Darling, I never knew…. I always believed you when you said it didn’t mean anything. Surely you could have told us? We might not have liked it, we might not have understood everything at first… but we would have tried.”
“Maybe you would have, Mother. But I’m not sure Father would.”
His father was still speechless and his features hadn’t softened. Alec couldn’t see anything there that looked like acceptance or understanding. Suddenly Alec’s anger and courage drained away. He stared at his father, searching desperately for something in his expression that would give him hope. He found nothing. His father wouldn’t even look at him.
“Well, that’s it, then. I’ve said my piece.”
He was met with silence. His mother gave another muffled sob and pressed her hand over her mouth.
Alec turned and walked away. He closed the door quietly behind him and walked up the stairs to his room. He couldn’t stay here tonight. Empty, numb, and utterly drained, Alec picked up his still-packed bag and carried it down to his car. He turned the key and the engine roared into life.
Caspar came running around the side of the house as Alec started to pull away. Caspar blocked his path, shouting at him to stop.
Alec hit the brakes, but he didn’t kill the engine. He rolled the window down as Caspar came around to speak to him.
“Alec, are you okay? How did it go?”
“Not great, obviously. I’m sorry to run out on you, Caspar, but I can’t stay here. I need to get away. Maybe they need time for it to sink in.” Alec was past caring. He just wanted to escape.
“Okay. I’ll talk to them. Call me next week.”
Alec nodded wearily.
“Drive safe, Alec.” Casper reached through the window and gave Alec a one-armed hug.
“Bye, Casp.”
Alec pulled out of the driveway and drove until he reached a lay-by. He gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment, trying to breathe slowly and calmly as he weighed up his options. He couldn’t bear the thought of going home to his empty flat, and there was only one person in the world who he wanted to see right now.
Before he had time to chicken out, Alec took out his phone and made the call.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ed was helping cook dinner when his phone rang. His mum was making lasagne, and Ed was in the middle of chopping mushrooms. He wiped his hands on the legs of his jeans before pulling his phone out of his pocket.
When he saw Alec’s name on the screen, his heart jumped. He couldn’t think why Alec would be calling him unless it was work related, but that seemed unlikely now the deal was finished. “Hello?”
“Hi.” Alec’s voice was quiet. There was a long pause and what sounded like a sigh.
“Are you all right?” Ed frowned.
“Um… I don’t know, really. Sorry, is this a bad time to talk?”
Gemma—chopping peppers at the kitchen table—let out a cackle of laughter at something their mum had said. On his end of the phone, Alec could probably hear the pop music playing on the radio.
“No, it’s fine. Gimme a sec, I’ll move somewhere quieter.” Ed took the phone away from his ear. “I’m just going to take this in my room,” he told his mum. “Back in a bit.”
She smiled. “No problem. Gem can finish the mushrooms.”
Gemma glared at Ed. “Slacker,” she called after him as he left.
Up in his room, Ed put the phone back to his ear as he sat on the edge of his bed. His heart was beating fast, and he cursed himself for being like a lovesick teenager over Alec. Just the sound of Alec’s voice was enough to send Ed into a tailspin. “What’s up?” he asked. “Where are you? I thought you’d be busy with your parents.”
“I’m sitting in a lay-by about five miles from their house. I had to leave.”