“I skimmed it.”
I roll my eyes and stare out the window. “The baby is maybe a couple centimeters long at this stage. That’s the best way to see it. It’s uncomfortable but doesn’t hurt. Just awkward.”
“Well, I’m going to be right there with you, no matter what.”
His calm assurance chases some of my anxiety away. I reach over and rest my hand on his leg. “Thank you.”
My appointment’s later this time, so we have to wait. Gray’s full of happy energy. God, I don’t want to disappoint him today.
While we’re waiting, I pull out my phone to show Gray a crib that I like.
“You want to look for that after we’re done here?” he asks.
“Maybe. There’s a baby store in Slater that’s supposed to have one. Do you think it’s too soon, though? I hate to lug it to Emily’s and then…” My voice trails off. The reminder that our situation is still up in the air seems to zap Gray’s cheery mood.
Good job, Serena.
Another patient loudly gushes about the baby shower her mother-in-law threw for her over the weekend to the receptionist. “Oh, we did the blind-folded baby food test! It was such a hoot. Maryanne almost threw up the pureed chicken. It smells like cat food. But we made out like bandits…”
I stare out the window and try and tune out the long list of baby presents she rattles off. It’s not the awful games or gifts that bother me. I don’t need stuff. Gray’s been more than supportive and active in buying whatever I need and I’ve never been a fan of goofy party games.
What I can’t stop thinking about is that I don’t have women in my family to plan a shower for me. Not for the gifts, but for the stories and advice they’d share. My grandmother would’ve had all sorts of warm memories to tell me. She would’ve knit a dozen pairs of baby booties by now. Damn, I miss her. Emily’s been more than supportive. But she can’t give me baby advice. Besides, she’s done enough for me. I wouldn’t dare even hint to her about a baby shower. I haven’t spoken to Amanda since I ran into her downstate and she’s definitely not a baby shower person either.
“You all right?” Gray closes his hand over mine. “You look so sad all of a sudden.”
I force a smile. “Still nervous about the appointment.” At least that’s true.
“Serena!” the nurse calls out.
“Thank God.” I grab my bag and hurry to meet her.
This time I’m less embarrassed about having Gray there watching everything. He’s a large, calm, comforting presence.
“So, how do you feel today?” Dr. West asks as she breezes into the exam room.
“I’ve had a few episodes of morning sickness.”
“Hmm. Okay.” She taps her tablet a few times. “Tired?”
“Yes.”
“That’s normal, right, doctor?” Gray asks.
“Yes. Perfectly normal at this stage. Her body’s going through a lot of changes.”
She runs through more questions and then squeezes my blood pressure out of me. For some reason the compression of the cuff annoys me more than usual.
“Better than last time but still elevated,” Dr. West says. “We’ll keep monitoring.”
“I’m watching my salt, taking my vitamins, exercising—”
“All good,” she assures me. “It’s just something I want to monitor as you progress, Serena. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
The part I’m tied up in knots over comes next. Gray’s right next to me, holding my hand, watching the doctor’s every move. His anxious eyes dart to the dark screen every few seconds.
I twitch and shift on the narrow table.
“Stay still,” the doctor murmurs.
A soft whooshing fills the room, then what sounds like a dozen horses galloping. I squeeze my eyes shut, so grateful for that sound. A tear slips from my eye, rolling into my hair.
“There it is.”
The doctor’s soft voice opens my eyes and I find her pointing to the screen.
“Is that our baby?” The awe in Gray’s voice wraps around my heart. He reaches for my hand, curling his fingers around mine and squints at the screen.
“That’s it.” The doctor traces her finger over a small dot. “It’s too early to see much.”
“Everything looks okay?” My voice shakes as I get out the question.
“Yes. This gives me a better idea of your due date too.”
“It’s so fast.” Gray’s grinning from ear to ear.
“The heartbeat is strong,” the doctor agrees.
Once we’re finished, she gives me some leaflets about childbirth classes and ways to manage blood pressure.
“That was amazing,” Gray says when we’re alone in the truck together. He reaches over and takes my hand. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming with me.”
“I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.”
“Well, I really liked having you there. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes.” I flip through the pamphlets the doctor gave me. “Most women have parents and in-laws to help them. Or at least share their wisdom.”