I lifted an eyebrow at him. “Do they know that your love life is none of their business? You’re an adult, living on your own, you know.”
He nodded. “I know, I know. And they don’t pry, too much. But I made the mistake of complaining to them that I’ve been lonely, and they worried that I was becoming too socially isolated.”
I let out a breath. “I think you’re doing just fine, Logan,” I said. “Trust me. Not everyone has to be an extrovert, you know.”
“I’m glad you think I’m doing okay,” he said gently. “Sometimes I think I’m doomed to be alone forever.”
Instinctively, I reached out to squeeze his arm. “Everyone thinks that sometimes. But I’m telling you right now, Logan. There’s no way you’ll be alone forever.”
His crystal-blue eyes met mine, with some mixture of surprise and disbelief. The cool wind blew through his hair, pushing it to one side. “I don’t know why you say that.”
“Because you’re a catch. And some guy will be very, very fucking lucky to have you, someday. I promise you.”
He breathed out. “Thank you. As always, you’re… way too nice to me.”
If I was the type of person who wanted a relationship—who could have a normal one—I’d have wanted to call Logan my own, no doubt about it.
But there was no use thinking about that.
Leaves crunched under our feet as we kept walking. I realized that this was exactly the kind of day I’d been needing. After doing badly on exams and in my football games for the first few weeks of the school year, it was cathartic to finally be making progress in both of them this weekend.
And spending time with Logan felt cozy, somehow. He was certainly different than anyone I’d been friends with before.
“Hey,” I offered, “you want to grab a hot cider at the stand along the way home?”
“I’m still full from that gigantic milkshake you made me get,” Logan said.
“It was fucking amazing, though, right?”
“Probably the best I’ve ever had,” he said. “You’re going to get me addicted to those.”
“I hope I do. Then at least I won’t be alone in my addiction.”
He let out a laugh. “Yeah, but you work out, like, 24/7,” he said. “I don’t have that luxury like you do, Mr. Perfect Body.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said. “I’m beefy, sure, but you know you’ve got a pretty perfect body, yourself.”
“Stop,” he said, but when I turned to look at him he still had a smile on his face. “I’m a twig compared to you.”
“Cutest twig I’ve ever seen,” I said with a shrug. “You look great all the time, Logan. I hope you know that.”
“Christ, Brody,” he said.
“All these damn sweaters you wear, and those glasses,” I said. “You definitely give off hot-for-teacher vibes.”
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“It means if you really were a professor one day, you better believe I’d be that guy in the back fantasizing about you.”
“God,” he muttered.
“What? Am I scaring you off yet?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know,” Logan said, staring at the ground as we walked. “I’m just wondering why you’re spending your night with my boring ass when you could be out having fun with your friends like everybody else in that diner.”
His words twisted around my heart.
He had no idea.
No clue how much I was starting to enjoy spending time with him. So much that it worried me. So much that I wished I could break all of my rules, just for him, and wished I was the kind of person he deserved. Someone intelligent. Capable. And available.
I’d always sacrificed so much for football, but it had never really hurt as much as it did now.
I looked down at the multicolored leaves littering the sidewalk, crunching on every one of them I could.
I wasn’t going to tell him the truth. At least not all of it. It would scare him away almost immediately, but as I walked next to him, I realized that I couldn’t deny it any longer.
Logan was the first person in a long while that made me feel less lost.
That’s what I liked about him.
For at least a year or two now, I’d felt increasingly more aimless. My dreams of football stardom had waned until now, when they’d all but disappeared. My goals were muddy. My friends on the team were great guys, but they were on different life paths than I was, either bound for lucrative business careers or still trying to go pro in football.
I’d been whittling away my last couple of years in college, having shallow hookups, and willfully ignoring what the future might hold for me.
But being with Logan felt real. Like I couldn’t hide from myself the way I had been for a while now. And it was scary and so comforting all at the same time.
I cleared my throat, realizing I’d been lost in thought for a while, leaving him hanging as we walked. “Spending time with you is the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” I said, keeping it simple.