“You are the second person I’ve ever kissed,” I admitted.
My heart pounded a little faster in my chest.
“Why’s that embarrassing?” Brody said kindly.
I puffed out a laugh. “You know why. But thanks for being so nice to me.”
“I think that is just fine,” Brody said. “Everybody goes at their own pace.”
I let out a long breath that I’d been holding. “Every time I admit something like that to you I feel like you’re going to laugh me out of the apartment.”
“Logan, if I ever laugh you out of your own apartment, you have my permission to sock me in the face,” he said. “I would never do that.”
I swallowed hard. “I… didn’t have a good time in high school. Socially, at least. And I’m starting to realize I have a lot of those memories still affecting me now.”
The only light on in the room was the small lamp on his nightstand. Brody shifted a little in the bed, propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at me. I turned, looking up at him, the lamp making a dim halo of light behind him. I didn’t know how somebody could be beefy and angelic all at the same time, but I was starting to realize that was the package deal of Brody Bryant.
“What happened?” he asked, gently reaching up to slowly run his fingers through my hair.
I hummed under his touch. “That feels so good,” I whispered. “Um, in high school, I guess you could say I was bullied. Except it wasn’t your standard bullying, where you get beaten up or shoved in a locker. Kids called me awful things, pretty much every day. They wouldn’t leave me alone. In class, in the halls, after school. A few of the football players, specifically.”
Brody furrowed his brow. “You know that still counts as bullying, right? Sounds like pretty bad bullying, too.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know.”
“Just because they didn’t physically hurt you doesn’t mean it wasn’t real,” Brody said. “That pisses me off to hear that. Especially because it only adds to the fucking horrible reputation that some star athletes have.”
“One of the guys who did it to me had actually been my friend in elementary school, too,” I said quietly. “His name was Stephen. We used to hang out in his treehouse all of the time, making up fantasy worlds and playing pretend. And then when he got into high school, he joined the football team. And then he wanted to distance himself from me as much as he could.”
“And so he bullied you,” Brody said.
I snorted. “He told his teammates that I still slept with my childhood blankie, which at the time was true,” I admitted.
“So what?” Brody said, his voice rising an octave. “What the fuck is wrong with that? It sounds nice and cozy.”
“It really was,” I said. “They called me Logan Linus. Like from Charlie Brown. That was one of the nicer things they said about me, actually. Better than the gay slurs. Better than when they said I’d die alone.”
“Jesus Christ,” Brody whispered, his brow furrowing.
“They wanted to latch onto anything they could. Anything could be a seed for them to start making fun of me. It only pushed me further into my shell. Much furter. And it led to a pretty shitty four years.”
Brody reached down and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. He squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
I felt like I’d unlocked some sort of secret door into Brody’s world, a part that most people didn’t get to see behind his playboy charmer exterior. He was being incredibly caring—almost concerned, even. I still had no idea why the hell he was so nice to me, but I sure as hell was going to enjoy it while I could. Even if it only lasted for tonight.
“I learned to deal with it,” I said. “Learned to avoid them. Learned that Stephen wasn’t my friend anymore, and that people are just shitty sometimes. But I still have these fears that anytime I get close to someone, it could blow up in my face at any point.”
I sucked in a breath, my chest getting a little tighter. These weren’t the kind of things I’d told anybody other than Dani, and I definitely hadn’t expected to be saying them to Brody tonight.
But he had that effect on me. Making me feel comfortable talking about all of the things I wasn’t comfortable with at all.
Brody’s hand squeezed mine again. “I have definitely learned the same things. It just came to me later in life.”
“High school was easy for you?” I asked.
“It was,” he said. “High school was a safe haven for me when home felt bad. I grew up pretty poor. But when I joined college football and the gossip blogs started up… that’s when I learned that some people are just shitty. A lot of people, sometimes.”