Roman’s eyes were wide, and realization came over him. “Oh, no. It’s happening to you, too?”
“I’m so sorry for dropping this all on you,” I said, scratching the back of my neck.
He shook his head. “This has been happening to Brody for years,” Roman said. “And it’s made me sick, the whole time. I’ve never once looked at one of those dumbass websites.”
“Never?”
He snorted. “Hell no. Not even when I was your age. I can tell you right now, nothing people say on those websites is going to matter one bit when you’re out of college. It doesn’t even matter now, to be honest.”
I nodded, looking down at the hardwood floor and using my boot to push around a dust bunny on the floor.
Roman sighed, putting a hand on my shoulder. “But I know it matters if it makes you feel awful,” he said softly. “You want to know something?”
“Sure,” I said, still feeling dejected.
“The first time the gossip mill went hard on Brody, he came to me crying.”
I lifted an eyebrow, looking at Roman like he was nuts. “No way.”
“Yep,” he said, a small grin appearing on his face. “It’s the type of thing that Brody would laugh his ass off about, these days. People online were saying that he was a ‘wannabe quarterback,’ and the only reason he was a tight end is because he couldn’t make it as a QB.”
“That’s awful,” I said.
Roman shrugged. “It was just the tip of the iceberg. They’ve said so much stuff about him over the years, both good and bad. Some people act like he’s a god, some people think he sucks. For the most part, he just knows how to ignore it all completely these days.”
I bit my bottom lip. “He did not look happy when he saw the stuff this morning.”
“I bet,” Roman said, a look of concern passing over his face. “Brody doesn’t care when they say stuff about him anymore, but when they say stuff about his friends… he loses it.”
“He left the house really fast,” I said. “And I don’t even know where he went. He seemed determined.”
“He’s probably out trying to make things right, for your sake,” Roman said.
“Oh, God,” I said. “I hope he isn’t getting in a fight.”
“Probably not. He knows better.” Roman thoughtfully chewed on his lip for a moment. “But he does like you a whole lot, so who knows?”
I felt a heat creeping over my cheeks. “I like him a lot, too,” I said.
“I haven’t seen Brody like this in a long time. It seems like he got some sort of spark for life back in him, since he met you. He was really dragging, early this semester. Now he has some purpose again. It’s awesome, to be honest.”
My face felt as hot as a furnace now. “Well, he’s been putting in a lot of hard work in school, I know that.”
Roman was smiling again, making me feel like I might melt from embarrassment and flattery. “He sure is smitten with you,” Roman said, clearly knowing by now that I liked to hear it.
I tried not to let it go to my head. After all, it didn’t even matter, even if it was true. Brody didn’t do relationships, even if he was “smitten” with me. Meeting Brody had felt like being wrapped up in a windstorm and floating away to a place I didn’t understand, and it definitely had been a wild ride. But I knew, after all, that it would only ever be an adventure.
It wouldn’t last.
I could enjoy knowing that he had a soft spot for me right now. But I had no idea what that meant for the future. Or if it meant anything at all.
“I’m just so afraid,” I said softly. “I’m afraid of everything getting bad again. Really bad, like it was for me in high school.”
“Brody’s told me you had a rough time back in high school,” Roman said, sympathy in his eyes. “He didn’t give me the details, but it didn’t sound like anything good.”
“It was awful,” I said. “I don’t want people to know who I am. I don’t want them to be judging me, for no reason at all. I just don’t want that kind of attention. At all.”
“It sounds like hell to me, too,” Roman said. “But the thing with gossip like this is that it always passes. Hell, Brody’s had so much shit said about him, but he always walks across campus with confidence, and people respect him for it. Even people who’ve talked shit about him in the past.”
“But I’m not Brody,” I said. “I don’t have that confidence. I’m not beefy and charismatic and outspoken. I’m just…”
My words broke off. My insides felt empty again. Bottomless, like my heart was dropping through me and I didn’t know when it might stop.