I was pretty sure I was going to melt right into the snow.
It was unreal. He’d never kissed me in public like this. Total public, right at the front of the campus, where everyone walked up from the college town.
The fear was still there. A whole, icy mountain of it.
But right now, I realized that I was doing it. I was putting the fear in the little dark box that used to hold all of my loneliness. Even if I had to live with the fear, I was never, ever going to let that get in the way of making sure people I cared about were okay. Making sure Brody was okay.
I kissed him back, opening my mouth for him and letting his tongue slide against mine. He kissed me long and hard, and I didn’t need anything else in the world right now.
When he pulled back to take a breath, he left his forehead pressed to mine and his hands at the sides of my head.
“I was so worried,” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to have to worry about me,” I murmured. “You’re the one who has an actual reputation at stake. You matter. You’re a star football player.”
“You matter,” he said. “So fucking much. Screw my reputation. People can say whatever they want. But I have to know you’re all right. I need to. God, I care about you so much, Logan—”
He met my lips in a kiss again, this time gentle, but so slow and sweet I could have died and gone to heaven happy in that moment.
“Oh!” I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. Brody and I pulled apart, and he smiled as he glanced behind me.
I turned to see Dani, a look of utter relief on her face. “So, I take it you found Logan,” she told Brody, a smile spreading over her lips.
“I found him,” Brody said. “And I’m pretty sure I’m never letting him out of my arms again.”
Danielle gave us a nod. “I approve of that. I approve of it very, very much. You’re okay, Logan?”
“I’m more than okay,” I said.
I was lust-drunk, and I was right back in the magical haze I’d been in last night.
But now, everything was out in the open.
It didn’t feel like Brody and I were in a snowglobe, dark and hidden and secret from everywhere else. Instead, we were right here, at the heart of the Kansas Midwest campus, kissing like we belonged to each other.
And god damn, I wanted to belong to him.
Danielle reached out to give my hand a quick squeeze. “Call me later. I’m going to leave you two to be the lovebirds you are, for now.”
Heat bloomed through me as Dani walked off, a satisfied smirk on her face. I looked back at Brody, a little sheepish.
“She just says things sometimes—she doesn’t necessarily mean lovebirds, lovebirds—I mean, I know you don’t want any real relationships—but, I mean, I really do care about you too, and I definitely love kissing you—”
“Hey,” Brody said softly, thankfully cutting me off from my barrage of stammered words. “Logan, I want…”
He trailed off for a moment, his eyes wide and wild as he looked at me.
“Don’t worry about it, Brody,” I whispered. “I know you don’t want it.”
“Of course I want it,” he blurted out, an urgency in his voice, like he was letting loose something he’d been holding back for a long time. “God, I want it so badly. But there is no fucking way I’m going to subject you to more of what happened this morning.”
“I don’t care,” I said, lifting my eyebrows.
“But do you mean that, though?” Brody said, his brow furrowed. “Don’t just say that for me.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I said. "He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy."
Brody cocked his head to one side. “What’s that?”
“Socrates,” I said. “It’s one of my favorite quotes. And I never fully grasped it until now.”
A smile slowly spread over Brody’s face. “You. You are one in a million.”
“Too nice to me.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head a little. “Nobody else in the world would react to shitty gossip sites by quoting fucking Socrates, bro. You are incredible. I think you might be my favorite person.”
“And nobody but you would say ‘Socrates, bro,’” I told him. “And I love every minute of it.”
He clutched me close to his chest, bringing me into a tight hug. It was like he thought I might dissipate into thin air if he didn’t keep me close.
“You know I’m going to be a little rusty, if we do this, right?” Brody asked. I felt the comforting vibration of him talking against my body as he clutched me.
“If we do what?”
“If you actually want to try,” he said. “I want you to trust me, but I’m pretty sure I forget how to be in a… a relationship. I cannot believe I am saying this, and I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it, but I think I want one. With you. A real one. For the first time in years. And it feels crazy to even be saying this, and you don’t have to accept if you don’t want to, but—”