I shrugged. “I dunno. Four? No, five. Sloan makes five.”
“You slut,” he replied wryly. “Don’t you want a relationship?”
“I’m twenty-one! Fuck no, I don’t,” I laughed. Then I stopped abruptly, catching myself in a big lie. “Correction—I can’t have a relationship. I’m dumb enough to have feelings for people I can’t have.”
Judging by the sympathy in Cameron’s blue eyes, he was thinking about KC. And let him. I hadn’t yet decided what to do about my growing infatuation with Cameron.
That’s why men like Sloan were great. I spotted him over Cameron’s head, coming back to us with new drinks, and it was easy to return his smile. Sloan was a breath of fresh air. Nothing complicated. He had his life, I had mine, and we met somewhere in the middle to get a break.
Sloan set the drinks on the table, a Southern Comfort for himself, mojito for Cameron, and I’d wanted to try a gin fizz. “Did I miss anything fun?” He sat down next to me on the bench seat again and draped an arm around my shoulders.
“We’re discussing relationships,” I answered.
“I said fun, not agonizing,” he joked.
I laughed and took a sip of my drink. Fucking yum! This one hit the sweet spot.
“It seems Noa and I are both stupid enough to fall for people we can’t have,” Cameron said.
Sloan winced. “That’s rough. You sure you can’t have them?” He absently drew his fingers along my arm, another thing I liked about him. We’d gone out several times now, always with others, and even when he was talking to someone else, even when we were strict about having a casual arrangement, he was focused on me when we were together. And it worked like a soothing balm on the occasional, deep-seated yearning for other things I felt.
“Yeah, 100%.” Cameron took a sip of his own drink and leaned back in his seat. “There’s the whole monogamy-poly-open relationship crap to factor in too. How I identify doesn’t always go along with how I feel or who I’m into.”
Preach. I knew what he was talking about. It was its own headache. “One minute, I think I’m monogamous—the next, poly as fuck.”
Sloan let out a laugh and kissed my temple. “You’re so young, sweetheart. This is when you’re supposed to explore and figure shit out. And even later in life, you’ll change your mind.”
“That’s reassuring.” I smirked. “Have you figured out what you are yet?”
He weighed his response as he drank from his cocktail. “Well, right now, I’m sticking to open arrangements. I’ve made my decision to wait with relationships till my kids are older.”
I turned to Cameron. “He’s got four kids under ten.”
“Hot damn.” Cameron raised his brows. “How old are you?”
“Thirty-seven,” Sloan answered. “And my relationship with their mother is a reenactment of the Cold War, so I’ve got my hands full. I don’t need more drama in my life.”
I couldn’t imagine. He’d shared a few stories. The kids were with him every other week, with their mom the rest of the time, and it was a constant struggle to keep the peace.
“But you know what, boys? Life’s full of options,” Sloan continued. “We’re not under the same pressure as our parents were to settle down with someone and squeeze out a bunch of kids. Relationships these days are much more interesting and can look a hundred different ways. You just gotta try.” He took another swig from his drink. “I like to see it as putting together your own car. You pick the material of your interior, the color of the car itself, the rims, the engine. With different elements and different traits, you puzzle together a relationship that works for you.”
Or doll parts.
The thought just popped into my head. Fewer components, maybe. A relationship needed a heart, a center, something everyone involved contributed to. But then, who knew?
I snuck a glance at Cameron. He was so fucking beautiful in the low light. His dimples and the glint in his eyes from three drinks worked like a shot of Viagra straight into my veins. I wanted something with him. I wanted to kiss him, fuck him, suck his cock, and spend all hours of the day with him in my bed. And either we found the missing components elsewhere separately…or we started putting our own doll together until we had it all.
Like, what if we could find a third? A Dom who—
“In the meantime,” Sloan said, derailing my thoughts. “While you younglings figure out what works best for you, I get to take two adorable subbie boys out for drinks. I got no complaints.”
I beamed at him and reached up for a quick kiss. “You’re adorable too, Sir.”
He smiled warmly, then crossed his eyes at me. “The adorablest.”
He made me laugh.
Cameron excused himself to go to the bathroom, so I turned in my seat to face Sloan better for a moment.