“Voyeurism. There’s an entire kink for it.”
“Have you ever done it?” she asks nervously.
“No, but I would with the right woman.”
I see her heartbeat throbbing in her neck and wonder what she’s thinking.
“Maybe I should make a list for when I’m ready to start dating again. Though, the thought of putting myself out there is kinda frightening,” Tatum admits. “There are too many damn apps and expectations. I feel like it’d turn me off from men more than wanting to find a good one.”
That makes me laugh. “There are. It’s probably why I’ve stayed single for so long. I always hear that you’ll meet the right person when you’re not looking. So I haven’t been looking…for years. Most who have shown an interest are too immature and just want to party all the time. I just can’t relate.”
“I don’t even know what I could relate to, honestly. What are men my age doing? Because the ones I knew back home had country club memberships and cheated on their wives after golfing all Saturday. And if that’s the case, I’d rather stay single. Plus, I think most people on those dating apps sign up to have random hookups only. I might not have a ton of experience with only having one relationship and all, but I know that one-night stands aren’t for me.”
I meet her eyes, and guilt rushes through me. Does she assume that’s all I’d want her for? Is that why she pulled away last night before things could escalate? Still, I’m too damn chickenshit to bring it up because I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or be awkward around me.
“For me, going out with someone just for sex isn’t worth it. I realized that I need a deep connection with someone first for it to be genuine. I’d rather save that for the woman I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s perfect for you, Easton. You have a lot to offer someone. Too bad we didn’t meet in high school,” she says with a laugh. “I bet you were fun to be around.”
“When I was starting high school, you would’ve been twenty-three. Totally illegal, but I still would’ve been on board.” I chuckle, and she does too. Given the story I shared with her about my English teacher, she knows all too well my preferences on older women.
I wish I could put my heart out on the table right now, but I can’t. My fear of rejection or making Tatum feel out of place holds me back once again.
“You have a lot to offer someone too, Tatum,” I tell her, wishing she could see what I see in her.
She scoffs. “No. I really don’t. But maybe one day I will.”
Tatum sets her iPad down on the table.
“Another place I’d love to have sex somewhere in public is Germany. Maybe in a big park.”
“Damn, that’s a risky place,” I say hoarsely. “Everyone would be able to see and hear you.”
“That’s the point, but it would be in a different country with little to no risk of someone recognizing me there.”
“Isn’t it illegal? I know in some European countries it is.”
“It’s not. Road sex is legal in The Netherlands. That’d be another fun adventure to try.”
Is she trying to fucking kill me? The casual way she’s talking about public sex makes me wonder if she’s just trying to rile me up or get some kind of reaction. The only reaction I have at the moment is how much my dick likes hearing her talk about sex. I reach under the table and adjust myself once again. At this point, there’s no way she hasn’t noticed.
“Oh, that’s quite interesting,” I croak out. I’m in desperate need for a subject change.
“I’d like to do it in the back of a car too,” she states, not getting the memo that I’m dying inside. “Never done that, but it’s shown in movies and books so much, I wanna experience it myself. Maybe some off-road sex under the stars.”
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads!” I exclaim.
Her brows furrow, and she squishes her face. “Huh?”
“Back to the Future,” I explain in shock that she doesn’t recognize the infamous line from Doc Brown.
Tatum shakes her head. “Never seen it.”
My mouth nearly falls to the floor. “It’s literally a classic. What do you mean you’ve never seen it? You pick on me for not seeing a nineties movie, but this one’s from the eighties!”
She shrugs. “Just haven’t. There are actually a lot of movies I’ve never seen.”
I stand. “That changes tonight.”
“We’re going to have a movie night?”
“Sure are. We can finish the wine we opened last night and make popcorn after dinner.”
A wide smile spreads across her perfect lips. “I’m excited. First, date night and now, a movie night. Are you trying to court me?” she says in a light teasing voice, but I hear a hint of something else.