“I did.” There’d been a lighter note in his tone, but his voice dropped low. “Did you mean it? You don’t want to see me anymore?”
“Yes.”
He hadn’t asked the right question. He hadn’t asked if I wanted to mean it. I didn’t.
Right there, being in a dark closet with him, holding his hand, the desire to be with him was increasing in me. I didn’t want to mean it, not at all, but I bit back those words. Normal life meant no Kian. I wanted to be normal more than I wanted to be with him.
I murmured, “I’m sorry.”
The finger that tapped my chin rested there before it moved to smooth over my cheek in a soft caress.
A shiver racked through my body, filling every pore and cell with pleasure. I wanted to move into that touch, move into him, but I held back. I had to.
I whispered, “Kian.”
“I shouldn’t be in here with you then.”
I heard the regret from him. I heard the yearning, too. My own lurched to my chest and began to mount.
“Why did you grab me?” I winced at the sound of that. “You know what I mean.”
He chuckled, releasing my hand, only to cup the side of my face. I felt him leaning closer and closer until his breath coated my cheeks, my eyes, my lips. His forehead softly touched mine, and he rested there.
He murmured, “I shouldn’t be touching you like this. It’s dark and private in here, and I can’t help myself.” His thumb touched my lip.
My heart wanted to burst out of me. That touch…I was struggling against licking his thumb. It was right there. I began to pant.
He kept going, “Miss Hollister insisted on bringing me here to their private box for a drink. I didn’t want to, but Laura made me. Said it’d help with getting a positive angle on the story. I stayed for as long as I could handle it, but I’ve been wanting to find you since I saw your note. Are you absolutely sure, Jo?”
With his forehead resting on mine, he guided me backward until I touched the wall. I felt the space between our chests, but as soon as I felt the wall and I couldn’t move back anymore, he began to close the distance. The rub of his jeans grazed against my thighs. I could feel him through my pants. It was just a slight touch. He wasn’t pressing against me, but I wanted him to. I wanted to feel all of him.
“Kian,” I whispered. I was beginning not to think.
His thumb rubbed back and forth over my cheek. “When we were leaving, one of their friends arrived. They said you were here with that guy you’d said wasn’t your boyfriend.”
“Jake? What?”
“I snuck back in. I had to try.”
“But…” My mind was muddled. What was he talking about?
I couldn’t help myself. I touched a hand to his chest. He sucked in his breath, and I felt his heart lurch to my touch.
“If you want me gone, I’ll go.”
As he spoke, I felt his heart racing like mine.
He moved his mouth, so he was whispering right into my ear, his lips grazing my ear, “Change your mind. Please change your mind, Jo. I’m showing all my cards here. I have no shame. We’re connected, no matter how much distance or fake names are between us. That day in your bedroom put our lives together, and we have no say about it. I’ve always regretted that you saw what I did, but if I were put in the same situation again, if I saw him doing what he was doing to you, I’d do it all over again.”
I closed my eyes. He was saying the words I’d wondered about.
He kept whispering, “We don’t know each other, not really, but I just know how I feel right now.”
The last of my strength gave way. I leaned into him, sinking against his body, and Kian adjusted. He was now holding me in place. He was holding all of me.
His hand left my lips and curved around the back of my neck. “I understand why you’re scared. I’m scared for you, but I would never do anything to hurt you.”
My hand curled into a fist, resting on his chest.
“You don’t understand. I’ve only ever wanted to protect you. Since Edmund, every time I saw you in the courtroom, all I’ve known is that I have to protect you.”
Oh God.
He was saying everything I wanted to hear. Everything.
A small voice whispered in the back of my mind, But…
With Kian came the threat of being exposed. Even though every fiber of me wanted to agree to whatever he wanted, to go with him, to get to know him, somewhere in me was an inkling of strength that pulled me away. I had to cling to that last little bit of reservation and make it stronger. Doing that, I felt it spread inside me, and I looked up.