Four Good

Brendan lets me know right away that they’re fine with including Jay in our plans, though, ever respectful and considerate, he says it would be okay if I’d prefer to be alone with Jay. I assure him that’s not what I want.

When the hour is late, and the crowd has thinned considerably, I say goodbye to Caz and the Stone brothers, Becca, Tom, and Scott, and everyone else who’s still there. The men and I try not to make it obvious that we’re leaving together, but Becca gives me a knowing look as I go.

I follow them back to their beach house, my body a buzzing bundle of hormones. The alcohol has worn off, but my head is fuzzy with lust, and I want to keep it that way, so I don’t think too much about what I’m about to do and whether or not it’s a good idea.

If it feels good, do it. Maybe that will be my new motto as a forty-year-old.

We’re barely inside the door when Jay pulls me into a kiss, his arms bringing me tight against him, his erection swelling back to life under his jeans. He lifts me easily — this is new — and carries me over to the couch, never stopping kissing me.

He lies on top of me, keeping himself from being too heavy with one hand to the side of me. His mouth is hungry, and his hands, too, as they roam my body, sliding under the hem of my shirt to stroke across the bare skin of my stomach, unzipping my jeans, and dipping into the wetness between my legs.

I’m hollowed out, aching with a need to be filled. Jay doesn’t make me wait long.

“I need to be inside you, Christine.”

I nod quickly. “I want that, too.”

As he undoes his pants with a fumbling hand, Corbin offers him a condom packet. Jay doesn’t bother to take off his clothes or mine — he just pushes his pants down on his hips as I do the same with mine, sheathes himself, and sinks inside my heat like someone who’s been away from home for much too long.

“Oh, fuck, Christine. Oh god.”

He goes still inside me on his first stroke, and I’m afraid he’s about to come immediately. He was never a speedy lover when he was younger, but maybe things have changed. I’m worrying for nothing, though. After he sinks in deep, he stays there for several seconds, but then he begins to fuck me, his cock sliding in and out as his free hand strokes my face, my hair, my body.

His eyes move over me, too, surveying every area he’s touching, from the top of my head, down to the spot where our bodies are joined together.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs. “You always have been, and you’re even more beautiful now.”

He thumbs over my clit, and my breath comes in short huffs. He fucks me harder and deeper, and hits something inside me, both physically and emotionally.

I’m in a place I never imagined I’d be, connected again to this man who played a big part in influencing the woman I am today, for better or worse. My first real love. My only real love.

Is he right — is it fate?

Jay was always the one who believed in things like that, not me.

I’m too in my head to surrender to physical sensations, but Jay is trying hard to make me come, holding off his own release as he presses on my clit and rocks into me with a deep, steady rhythm.

He pushes my shirt up and pulls at my bra to expose one of my breasts. Suddenly, I’m seventeen, in his car, letting him take my shirt off for the first time, giggling at the reverent awe in his expression.

He bends now to take my breast in his mouth, sucking hard on my nipple in the way I always liked. My pussy clenches around him. He sucks harder, then flicks his tongue over my hardened flesh, and I cry out his name.

He releases my nipple only long enough to say, “Come for me, Christine,” before returning to it, tongue moving at rapid speed, triggering vibrations throughout my body.

I grasp for something to hold on to, and cling to a fistful of the shirt on his back as I start to come apart. My hips buck up, and my pussy throbs around his cock as waves of ecstasy vibrate through me.

“Oh, god, fuck, Christine,” Jay mutters nonsensically as he brings his forehead to mine, looking briefly into my eyes before he squeezes his shut and is overtaken by his own climax. His cock jerks, then pulses deep inside me as he comes, long and hard.

He stays in me, letting his weight rest on me in that way I love, stroking my hair, nuzzling my cheek. A noise from someone else in the room seems to startle him, and he lifts up, holding the condom in place as he pulls out of me.

He doesn’t meet my eyes again as he stands, somewhat awkwardly, hanging on to his pants to keep them from falling down. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait,” he says in a low voice directed at the Hayes brothers.

Then he leaves the room.

27

Simultaneously

I’m left wondering if Jay will come back, and his friends must be wondering too, because for a minute or two, no one really moves.