I’ve been in the pantry once before, when Mom, Rory, and I came over after Talon was shot. It’s huge and well stocked with everything from onions to imported spices. I grab an onion and bring it to the cutting board I used for the tomato. I breathe through my nose to keep the fumes from getting to me.
It doesn’t work. Soon my eyes feel like I’ve been exposed to tear gas. I sniffle.
“You okay?” Donny asks.
“Just onions.”
“Breathe through your nose.”
“Doesn’t work.” I sniffle again.
He chuckles. “You’re right. It doesn’t. Just an old wives’ tale. I guess my mom’s an old wife.”
I laugh. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”
He tilts his head back in a roar of laughter. “No shit. She’d kick my ass.” He finishes the burgers. “I’m going to get these on the grill.”
I nod and pile the sliced onions on a platter with the tomatoes, lettuce, and pickle slices. Another platter holds fresh-baked buns from Ava’s bakery.
Later, Donny drives me home. “You were in a good mood tonight,” I say.
“Yeah. I guess I was. I am. Even though I can’t sleep with you in my arms.”
I lean against him, let my head rest on his shoulder. “I’m just happy to see you happy, Donny.”
“How about you?” He kisses the top of my head. “You seemed happy for the most part, but I know you, Cal. You’re still worried.”
“Of course I am. Aren’t you?”
He inhales. “Yeah, I am. Big time. Still, there’s beauty in the world. My mom and dad need me whole. You need me whole.”
“I need you to be you. You don’t have to pretend for me.”
He kisses the top of my head again. “Your hair always smells so good.”
“Nice pivot.”
He sighs. “I know. Of course I’m worried, but I had a kick in the pants today as I was leaving Grand Junction.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I just remembered what’s important. You. Mom and Dad. My brother and sisters. And…”
“And what?”
“And me, Callie. I need to stay whole for myself as much as for others.”
“You’re whole, Donny. You’re the strongest man I know.”
He doesn’t reply. Does he not believe that? I pull back, meet his gaze.
His gorgeous hazel eyes are troubled. “You’re an angel, Callie Pike, but there are many guys stronger than I am.”
“I’ll never believe it.”
“God, I love you.” He pulls me back toward him, and our mouths slide together in a searing kiss.
It’s so hard and passionate that I wonder if we’re going to fuck in Donny’s car, but—to my disappointment—he pulls back.