“Meddie?” I hear my mom over the monitor on my nightstand.
Sick or not, it’s time for me to get up. I wince when I see the clock.
Nine a.m.
I usually have Mom settled and the dogs sorted by now. I got Adam off to school this morning—watched from the door as he got on the bus. After that, I felt so bad that I just collapsed. Mom will be hungry.
Guilt automatically hits me. Mom has gotten stronger since I’ve been here, but she’s still unable to do a lot for herself. I hate that I made her wait when she might have been hungry.
I grab an old, ratty, blue, terry cloth robe I’ve had since I was a freshman in high school. It’s soft and warm. When I moved back here and saw it, I grabbed it, held on tight, and cried for twenty minutes.
Once upon a time, I couldn’t wait to leave Mason in my rearview mirror.
I was a fool.
I go first to Mom’s room. Whoever is at the door will just have to wait.
“I’m up, Momma. I’m sorry. Do you need anything before I go answer the door?”
“Are you okay, Baby? You look ill.”
“I think I got a touch of the stomach virus, but I’m okay. Do you need help getting to the restroom or anything?” I ask her, automatically going to her bedside and adjusting the oxygen tube over her ear. She’s lost so much weight lately that it keeps popping off and driving her crazy. I need to remember to tell the nurse about that when she comes. For the most part, I’m the only one that takes care of my mother. However, we just got insurance approval for a home health nurse who comes out once a week. She helps me do whatever I need and makes sure that Mom has all of her medicines and supplies. Mom doesn’t want her help with a lot of the more personal things, but it does give me a slight break. I’m very grateful. While I want to spend every minute I can with my mother, I realize that’s not healthy for me or her.
“I got up and did it myself,” she announces proudly.
“Mom! That’s dangerous! What if you had fallen?”
“Nonsense. I have this damn chair that takes me everywhere. It was just a matter of sliding over on the potty.”
“Still, I need you to be careful.”
“You worry too much. Go see who is at the door, and we’ll round us up something to eat.”
“Maybe for you,” I murmur. “I don’t think food is my friend.” I hold my arm across my stomach and barely contain a belch because acid seems to roll in my stomach at the mere mention of eating.
“We’ll make toast. You have to try to eat something,” she says as I’m leaving the room. The thought of toast doesn’t do much for me either, but I don’t argue with her.
I make my way to the living room and go to the door to peek through the glass. I frown when I see Ida Sue standing there. This can’t be good.
It’s been six weeks since the wedding.
Six very long weeks.
I haven’t heard a word from Blue. I figure that’s a good thing. I’m not disappointed at all.
At least that’s what I tell myself daily.
“Ida Sue, this is a surprise,” I greet with a smile as I open the door.
“Oh my, child. You look like you swallowed a stink bug on the Fourth of July.”
I frown, my forehead curling up in thought.
“Is there a good time to swallow a stink bug?”
“Hell no, but I’d say it’d be much worse when it’s a hundred degrees outside and you’re already miserable,” she says, and I don’t guess she’s wrong.
“I think I caught a stomach virus. I’ll be okay. Come on in,” I tell her. “Just don’t get too close to me,” I half laugh. “You can talk to Momma while I get dressed. I need to get the shelter opened up.”
“You can’t work when you feel bad.”
“It probably won’t be that busy.”
“Even so, there’s no way you should work.”
“No rest for the weary, Ida Sue,” I tell her with a sigh. I feel exhausted…
All the way to my soul.
“I don’t like it. Tell you what, why don’t you go back to bed? Leddie and I will hold down the fort.”
“No. There’s too much and Mom’s not able—”
“Nonsense. She’ll ride around in that fancy chair you bought her. She can do that and keep her oxygen on. I can feed dogs and clean the cages.”
“They get kind of messy,” I warn her, wanting to try and head this off but unsure how to deal with her.
“Can’t be any worse than Hamburger’s doghouse. I signed him up for Pet Supply’s obedience training down in Graves.”
“You did?” I can’t keep the disbelief out of my voice.