Cowboy Up (Lucas Brothers)

From the glow of the moon, I can see her brow crinkle as if she’s trying to remember. Then, she starts laughing.

“We were in the third grade, doofus.”

“So? It still counts,” I insist, grinning.

“How much trouble did you get for picking all of Ida Sue’s daisies?”

“I got my butt warmed, and I had to muck out the stalls all by myself for a solid month,” I laugh.

“Ouch,” she giggles.

“It was worth every minute of it. You gave me my first kiss.”

“It was mine, too,” she responds with a sigh.

“I know,” I murmur.

“It wasn’t very good,” she laughs.

“Hey!”

“Blue, you ate garlic bread for lunch that day.”

“You like garlic bread.”

“I don’t like garlic breath,” she responds, and I can tell she’s trying to hide her giggling.

“Liar. You liked everything about my kiss.”

“If you say so, Moonie,” she says, getting out of the car.

I get out, too. I walk over and lean against the the hood of the truck. I take her hand and link our fingers together. She watches it and doesn’t say a word.

“What are you thinking, Doe?”

“That this is a bad idea.”

“Nothing has to happen that you don’t want, baby. I swear I just wanted time with you. If we keep our clothes on all night, I’m good with that. If you want to go home later, I’ll hate it, but I’m okay with it. I just want to be with you.”

“I need to go home, Blue. I’m not explaining to my child why Mommy stayed out all night with a man.”

“But I’m not just any man,” I respond as we walk to my front door. I don’t know why I keep pushing my luck, but I think it’s because I want her to admit it—admit that what she feels for me is special.

“What are you?” she asks as we make it up on the porch.

“I’m the man who wants to be yours.”

“You make it sound so simple, Blue.”

“I think it is. Maybe you’re just overthinking it all.”

“We didn’t work out years ago. What makes you think we will now?”

“What makes you think we won’t?” I ask instead of giving her an answer. I open the door and hold it open for her and she looks at me. She seems really sad.

“I’ve got more than myself to think of now, Blue. Adam has never had a father, not really, and I see it in his eyes. He wants you to fill that spot.”

With those words, she walks inside as if she has no idea that she just rocked my world.

Chapter 31

Meadow

If I thought scaring him with the facts about Adam would spook him, I was sadly mistaken. Blue seems to like the idea. He hasn’t talked about it anymore, but he has a goofy smile on his face. I shake my head. I really am in trouble. That’s becoming more and more apparent every day.

We’re in his kitchen fixing dinner. Well, that’s not exactly true. He’s fixing dinner. I’m sitting on a bar stool watching him cook because he said I needed to rest. I’m watching him slice up things for a salad now.

“I really could do that,” I murmur.

“You do too much. The county is going to have to get you help at the shelter.”

“I can’t do that. It voids the contract. Mom got that house because she took over the shelter. I stop doing that and—”

“You lose the house,” he responds.

“Yep. I mean, I could get a job and find a place to rent, I’m sure. But working away from the house means not being there for Adam if he needs me. While I work at the shelter, I can open it around Adam’s schedule. Switching jobs would make that impossible. Then, there’s the fact that Mom’s comfortable in the house. It may need some work, but it’s set up in a way that’s easy for her to navigate. I’m not sure I could find a rental that works quite as well.”

“Doe? Can I ask you a question?”

“Since when are you the kind to ask? The Blue Lucas I know does whatever he wants. He doesn’t ask.”

“Point made. So let me ask you, baby. Where do you see this going?”

“This?” I ask, scrunching up my face, because I’m not sure what he’s asking, but I’m afraid it’s not something I’m going to want to discuss.

“You and me. Tell me what you see happening,” he urges, pausing from slicing tomatoes. I sigh, taking a drink of the water that he demanded I drink because I need to stay hydrated.

“You want an honest answer?”

“I do.”

“I see disaster.”

Blue curses under his breath and I know I’m upsetting him, but he asked for the truth. I’m just giving it to him.

“Why do you see disaster?”

“You’re holding onto some faded memory of what we were in high school and trying to push away how you really feel about me,” I explain. “No relationship can survive that.”