“Until I got pregnant with Ben, I thought the man who’d raised me was my father. When I told my mom I was pregnant with your baby, I told her I was going to tell you. I swear to you, I never had any intention of keeping him from you. It didn’t even cross my mind, but she got in my head. Telling me that my real father didn’t want me. He wanted her to have an abortion.” I paused, letting my words sink in.
“You see, my mom had an affair with this man. For years my dad wanted kids, and it didn’t happen for them. They found out later he was sterile and couldn’t have kids. He became withdrawn from her, so she found comfort in the arms of another man. She says she fell in love with him. She was going to leave my dad, but when she told him she was pregnant with me, he didn’t give a shit. He told her she was nothing more than sex, and she needed to have an abortion.” Taking another deep breath, I continued.
“She refused, even when he said he wouldn’t help her. He broke her heart, but my dad wanted a baby so bad, he decided he’d raise me as his own. They tried to make it work, but in the end, they got a divorce. My mom was messed up, she couldn’t forgive herself for cheating on him, and seeing me reminded her of all her bad choices. It’s why she left me with him and moved here to work for your mom. I think she was punishing herself by being away from me.”
“Jesus, Sophie.”
“I found all of this out after I told her I was pregnant with your baby. She confessed and told me you were going to do the same. I still didn’t listen to her. Instead, I flew out to tell you, but when I showed up to your house, I saw her with you.”
He grimaced, knowing who I was referring to.
“It was all I needed to see to think that my mother was right about you. Then throw in the shock and hurt by my real father’s actions. I didn’t want our kid to go through not being wanted. Then thinking about all the women who’d claimed you’d knocked them up. I didn’t want to be another problem you just paid off.”
“You honestly thought I could do that to you?”
“I did. The night we ran into each other, all I wanted was to get back at you. I wanted to hurt you like you’d hurt me. It’s why I left before you woke up. I couldn’t have gone through with it if I didn’t leave when I did. I still loved you, and it was evident that our connection was strong as ever. I wanted to hate you, and for a long time I did, but seeing you again only solidified how much I still loved you. I never intended on getting pre—”
“I didn’t use a condom.”
I jerked back, almost falling out of my chair.
The only thing I could utter was, “What? You purposely got me pregnant?”
“No. I think it was a subconscious decision. We’d been drinking a lot, and I didn’t realize it until the next morning. There were no wrappers from the condom, and fuck… I looked for you. I had Caleb look for you. You just disappeared.”
I sat there with wide eyes. “I know.”
“When Autumn showed me the picture of Ben, I think deep down a part of me wasn’t surprised.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I do. I fucking love you. I know you love me.” He abruptly stood, his chair skidding across the wood floor.
His sudden movement made me stand as well. In four long strides, he closed the distance between us with so much force, my body slammed against the wall behind me. I hit it with a hard thud.
Instantly, Jax caged me in with his arms, making me feel his love, his desperation, and his hate.
Not for me.
For himself.
“I mean it, Sophie. I love you, and I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t fight for you. Please tell me you believe me.”
“I do.”
“I’m done waiting.” He smiled, adding, “Give me another baby.”
This time it wasn’t Jax who came to me—it was me who willingly gave myself over to him. My mouth crashed onto his, and it was all he needed to lose control. Roughly, he gripped onto my ass, lifting me up to straddle his waist.
Our kiss was passionate.
Hungry.
Sending us into a frenzy.
I didn’t realize he was walking us into our bedroom until he’d laid me on the bed, spreading my legs to lay in between them before he lowered himself onto my heated body.
This was crazy, but Jax and I were always impulsive. Going from one extreme to the next. This wasn’t unusual for us. I’d wanted to give him what had been his the entire time.