Hide from Hawke.
“You can’t marry Samuel.”
“You’re repeating yourself now,” I said, turning around so I didn’t have to look at him anymore. Didn’t have to see the utter rejection in his eyes. I didn’t expect him to fall to his knees and worship me or anything, but I had thought he’d at least have an open discussion about his mark inking my skin. Okay, maybe in my wildest dreams, I’d fantasized about what his reaction might be. How he might use those muscled arms to hold me, how his assassin’s hands might feel against my skin. “Yet another reason on the long list of reasons you need to feed.”
A low growl rumbled from his chest, and I sort of wanted to turn around and smirk at the broody bastard, but I headed toward the other side of the room instead. My body was trembling, the fight-or-flight instinct raging through my veins with his reaction to his mating mark.
Cover it up, hide it, bury it, pretend like it doesn’t exist.
Part of me had always known that’s how he’d react, which is why I’d shown no one, not even Olivia.
I wanted time.
Time to grow in friendship with Hawke.
Time to make him realize he was more than an assassin, and I was more than a princess.
Time to make him understand how much I adored his grumpy, blade-obsessed ass.
“I can’t fucking believe you’re still talking about me feeding after what you just showed me.”
I blew out a breath, shifting the tomes, scrolls, and dusty letters scattered along my desk near the couch. The fact that I’d left them out instead of hiding them under my bed in the other room spoke more volumes about my defeat than anything.
Because it didn’t matter anymore. The research I’d been doing the last month, searching desperately for a way to disprove the twins’ claim on the throne, resulted in the same conclusion repeatedly. And I’d remained silent, because I knew if I’d spoken, I wouldn’t be able to reveal the truth to any of them. Not until I found a way out of this.
And Benedict would know I was lying to all of them, know I was hiding everything.
But there was no way out of this.
Samuel and Saint absolutely had a claim to our legacy, to our throne, and my marriage was the only thing stopping them from waging war against my family.
“You should’ve told me the moment you got home,” Hawke said, stomping toward me.
I whirled around, locking eyes with him. “Tell you about what, Hawke?” I snapped. “The mating mark you want to hide, or the fact that I made a decision to avoid war?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“I really don’t,” I said, stepping into his space. A muscle in his jaw ticked as he glared down at me. “I have no idea what goes through that thick head of yours.” I pushed past him, throwing open my door and heading into the hallway.
“Where the hell are you going?” he asked, following me.
“Anywhere,” I snapped. “Away from you.”
“This isn’t that simple, Princess,” he said, reaching for my elbow and spinning me around to face him. “We have to deal with this.”
“We don’t have to do anything.” I jerked my arm out of his grip. “I’ve made my decision, and the one thing I thought might get in the way of it doesn’t even matter.”
He furrowed his brow. “That’s not fair—”
“Nothing ever is,” I said, the breath in my lungs coming too fast. My soul was crying out for the one vampire in the world who still, even after all our time together, wanted nothing to do with me.
“You’re a princess,” he said, tone lowered as we made it to the foyer. “I’m a low-born assassin. I can’t—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Don’t you dare try to make up an excuse like that. You owe me more respect than that. Just say you don’t want me in that way, you don’t care about me—”
“Avi?” Alek’s voice broke through my angry ramble, bringing me up short. He bounded up the stairs, stopping on the foyer landing to stand right in front of me. “You’re talking?” His eyes shifted to Hawke, then back to me.
Ransom, Olivia, Valor, Lachlan, Lyric, Jocelyn, and Benedict all piled in behind Alek, creating an intense family half-circle around us.
And I couldn’t help but scan their faces, a new level of devastation crushing my heart. They were the reason I agreed to marry Samuel, and I’d wasted my entire month of freedom trying to find a way out of it. Now there were only a few days left with my family and then who knew when I’d be allowed to see them?
“Avi,” Alek gently gripped my shoulders, drawing my attention back to him. “I understand if you need more time. You don’t have to talk about what happened. I just need to hear your voice.”