Say You Swear

“Noah, I really am so sorry.”

“I know.” His voice is wounded, but the fresh cut bleeds only understanding. “I know.”

It’s more devastating than anger because it means he thinks there’s something to understand in the first place. There isn’t.

“But I need you to do something for me,” he whispers, his voice hoarse.

“Anything,” I swear, preparing my gut for what he has to say, and noting how his jaw clenches as if it pains him to do so.

“I need you to really stop and think. About everything. All of it.” He drops his frown to the seat, slowly bringing his eyes to mine. “I need you to think about him.”

Shock has ice spreading through my stomach, tightening my muscles to the point of pain.

“If you still love him at all,” he rasps. “If there’s even the smallest of chances for you and him, I need you to let me go.”

The air wooshes from my lungs in a quick hiss, my heart beating out of control. “Noah.”

“I need you to have mercy on me, Juliet… and let me go.”

Anguish peaks, my muscles convulsing as a sob threatens to tear through me.

Frantic, I fumble with the door handle, but Noah shakes his head, and I freeze, gripping the frame once more.

“Go inside, Juliet.” He faces forward, swallowing. “Please.”

It takes a moment, but I manage to let go. I stumble backward, breathless, breaking.

My vision begins to haze and I press along my temples, doing as he asks as he drives away.

I’m not sure how I managed to get up to my dorm, because I don’t remember getting the door open or stepping onto the elevator. I don’t remember going inside or Cameron coming out of her room.

I don’t remember falling to the floor, yet here I am, my best friend right beside me, stroking my hair. Her lips are moving, but I hear nothing, and then I see nothing, but goddamn it, I feel every.

Single.

Thing.

Chapter 34

Arianna

* * *

The sun brings with it the gloom of the night before, so I pull the blankets up over my head and bask in it. And that’s where I stay all day, as well as the one that follows, but by the time the third day rolls around, Cameron is climbing on top of my desk, yanking my curtains down. Literally.

She tosses them on the floor, kicking them under the bed, her hands falling to her hips. “Get up. Shower. I’m making you food.”

“I’m not hungry.” I flip onto my opposite side, staring at the wall.

She rips my blankets off, and I squeeze my eyes shut, rolling over onto my back.

“Girlfriend, I know everything sucks right now, but you can’t do this.”

My eyes move to hers and she offers a small smile. Stepping forward, she pats the mattress. “Get up, get fresh. Plug in your phone.”

I wince and her shoulders fall.

“You know he didn’t call,” she whispers. “He told you he needed a few days.”

Moisture pricks my eyes, and I nod. “I know.”

She snags my phone off my desk and walks over to set it on the charging station beside my bed. “Then you have nothing to be afraid of, sister. Now, up. Or I’ll pull out the big guns… and call Mason.”

Squeezing my arm, she smiles and walks out, so before I can talk myself out of it, I drag myself into the bathroom, locking myself inside.

Even though I spent the last two days in bed, I had no false hope of sleeping, and I didn’t. I laid awake most of the time, searching for words to say to Noah, but no matter how many versions of I’m sorry, please forgive me, I run through, none are enough. Not by a longshot.

Noah came into my life at a time when I needed a friend, and that’s exactly what he became. He was the one who inadvertently helped me through the bullshit I allowed myself to fall into after everything with Chase, so he saw how deep my feelings ran. How hard it was to let go and every other embarrassing moment I eagerly shared. Hell, Noah’s the one who helped me heal and I didn’t even know it happened until one day something changed. Suddenly, the man I lost sleep thinking about wasn’t the one it used to be.

I fell for Noah, and I fell hard.

If you asked me a few days ago if there was a pain point in our relationship, I’d have sworn no such thing existed. Now I realize how blind I’ve been. Him and me, we do have a sore spot.

Chase.

The thing is, only one of us felt it.

The never-ending unease.

The fear that at any moment the person you want might decide they want someone else.

I knew Chase would be in my life forever in one way or another. I knew this before and after we crossed the line, and Noah chose to accept that. He got to know me, grew to like me, and showed how much he wanted me, while well aware the one man from my past would be a constant in my future.