Say You Swear

“What the fuck?!” Mason’s voice booms from somewhere.

And just like that, the chatter around the room dies down, and my brother is gently nudging me aside, stepping between Chase and me.

Chase’s eyes widen for a split second, but then he stands up straight, facing off with his best friend.

“What’d you just say to my sister?” Mason pushes on Chase’s chest, shoving him back a few steps.

Brady rushes over, Cam beside him.

Chase shakes his head, lifting his hands. “I’m sorry, but… you’re going to have to get used to this.”

“What?!” Mason and I snap at the same time, both our heads jerking toward one another.

He frowns, confused, his glare quickly moving back to his friend.

Cam tries to step up. “Guys, maybe we should head outside?”

“Fuck that!” Mason throws his hands around. “What the fuck do mean I’m going to have to get used to it? Used to what? Are you fucking my sister?” Mason demands, before turning to me. “Are you fucking him?”

“Mason,” Brady clips. “Stop.”

“No, you know what, it’s fine, Brady. Let’s have a fucking therapy session right here in the middle of a party.” If my words are slurred, it’s unbeknownst to me. I pin my eyes on my brother. “No Mase. I’m not ‘fucking’ him.”

“You better fuckin’ not be!” he rears.

Ad you know what, fuck this shit.

“Oh?” I pull back, crossing my arms defiantly. “Why is that? Can’t stand the thought of your best friend on top of your ‘little’ sister?”

“Oh shit,” Brady murmurs from beside me.

Cameron tries to interject, but I push her away, and her mouth clamps shut.

“Watch your mouth, Arianna,” Mason says sternly.

“Well, guess what, asshole?” I hear Chase’s ‘no’ from beside me but fuck him too. “It already happened!” I watch my brother turn his murderous glare on Chase and start to rush forward before Brady steps in the middle of them, holding Mason back.

“Oh, but don’t worry, Mase, I was telling the truth. I’m not fucking him. Your friendship was more important than I was, just as you hoped, so congratulations, Mason.” I throw my arms out. “He’s all yours.”

I storm out the front door, ignoring the commotion that ensues with my exit.

“Ari, wait!” Chase yells, hot on my heels, but I don’t stop until he’s gripping my arm, whipping me around. “Ari, damn it, hold on!”

He jumps in front of me.

“What?! What do you want, Chase?” Emotionally drained, I drop my shoulders. “What do you want from me?”

“Everything!” he yells. “I want everything, Arianna.” I go to shout, but he holds his hands up. “Wait. Just, let me speak, okay?”

I stare at him for a few moments before nodding.

“Look, I know you said it was too late, but it doesn’t have to be. Ari, this summer…” He swallows. “I was an ass. Everything that happened between us, it shouldn’t have gone down like that. I see that now. I need you to believe me when I tell you that it won’t happen again. I won’t push you away again and I won’t allow anything to get between us, if you just give us the chance we deserve.”

I’m shaking my head before he even finishes. “Chase, no. I’m not in the same place I was this summer.”

“I get that,” he says insistently, reaching out and snagging my hands. “Honest, I do. I just want you to know I’m ready. I’m here. I know you’re scared. I know I’m the one who gave you a reason to be but—”

“Chase—”

My head continues to shake.

He’s not getting it.

He doesn’t get it.

My fingertips rub at my temples. “Please, stop talking.”

I keep walking, but he slips into my space again.

“No. You need to hear me. You need to understand what I’m saying.” He gestures toward the door. “I pretty much told my best friend to fuck off just now because I need you to know how serious I am. Just give me a chance to show you I can love you like you deserve, because Arianna, I do love—”

“I don’t love you anymore!” I scream, my muscles freezing.

Chase goes stiff, and over his shoulder, I spot my family, all rushing this way, all jolting to a stop at the same second. Slowly, they inch closer, each wearing their version of shock and confusion.

They heard what I said, maybe more.

Tears prick the backs of my eyes and my nose tingles.

Chase’s hands come up to run down his face, and his mouth forms a hard line.

I swallow past the knot in my throat. I never told Chase I was in love with him, this is the first he’s heard it. The first my brother’s heard.

The irony of this moment is lost on me, how my omission is also my rejection.

How the secret is out, but the need for it is over.

They shouldn’t have heard this before Noah.

No one should have.

Not until I’ve looked him in the eye and spoken it out loud.