Say You Swear

The arteries surrounding my heart squeeze and it gets a little harder to breathe.

Ari smiles then, waves, and everything fucking aches. Burns.

Clearing my throat, I turn away. I look Mason in the eye.

“I’m not asking you to push her to him. I’m just asking you to allow her the chance you took away, if she decides she wants it.”

Mason shakes his head. “This isn’t some dude off the street. There’s history, family ties. Friendship that spans years.” He eyes me. “Chase is a good man, Noah.”

“If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be standing here.”

He sighs, long and loud. “Fine. But for the record, this is a bad idea, and you might learn that the hard way.” With that, he storms down the steps, cutting right and disappearing down the beach.

Ari and Chase both watch as he disappears, and as her attention moves back toward me, I drop back into my seat.

I press my knuckles into my eye sockets, hoping that I’m doing the right thing, and wishing there was a way to find out, but how can I possibly find the answer when I don’t even know the damn question?

Life has never been simple for me, but this is on another level and I’m not handling it well.

I want my girl back.

I want the future I dared to dream about.

I want her.

Chapter 44

Noah

* * *

“Thanks for coming over to chat with Kalani,” Nate, Ari’s cousin, says as he walks me out. “I imagine the last thing on your mind right now is football, so it means a lot that you entertained her.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m not interested in playing for the Tomahawks.” I turn to face him. “I am, I’d be honored to be a part of any team, especially one that wants me to transition back to my original position, but I just…”

“Can’t think past the hour?”

I nod.

“Hey, I know the feeling, man. Trust me. My world shattered for a minute too before we got to where we are now. Not like yours but—”

“Nah, don’t say that. Heartache is heartache, right?”

“Shit burns either way,” he agrees, offering me a hand, so I slap my palm into his. “You’ll come to the barbecue on Sunday?”

“I’ll be here.” I salute the man and make my way back to Ari’s beach house.

On the way, Trey tries calling, making this his fourth attempt to reach me since Ari woke up from her coma, but I can’t bring myself to answer, just like I couldn’t answer Paige or my coaches’ messages either.

I don’t know what to say to them, or anyone else for that matter. I imagine they’ve heard something, but I can’t be sure, and I’m not ready to have that conversation with anyone.

Talking about what’s happened will only make it realer than it already is, and I’m not okay with that.

It’s not long before I reach the deck of the beach house, Brady and Cameron sitting on the couch playing on their phones. As I reach the top, Cameron looks up from hers, a smirk on her lips.

“What?” My steps slow.

“Martha Stewart has officially arrived.” She draws her legs up, snagging a chip from the bowl in Brady’s lap. “Get on in there, Snoop Dogg.”

“I’m not following…”

She looks back to her screen. “You will.”

With a small grin, I shake my head and walk inside.

I get a single foot in the door, and instantly, my senses are assaulted, the aroma one I could recognize anywhere, and my feet freeze, my eyes darting around the room.

Mr. Johnson sits at the table reading a sports magazine and Mason leans against the kitchen island.

And behind it, facing the stovetop, is… Ari.

She’s stirring something in a pot, and if my memory isn’t playing tricks on me, I know exactly what she’s taking extra care tasting.

The recipe I shared with her. Made with her.

My mom’s recipe.

My throat clogs and slowly, I push closer, joining Mason against the counter.

“Mom, did you find them?!” Ari shouts, dipping her finger in the spoon to taste the steaming sauce.

“No, honey, there’s none back here.” Mrs. Johnson comes around the corner, her face lighting up when she spots me. “Noah, you’re back. How’d it go with Lolli?”

“As wild as expected, I’m sure.” Mason pumps my elbow, and a low laugh leaves me.

“She’s sweet. It was a good conversation.”

Ari looks over her shoulder then and my chest inflates.

“What uh, what were you looking for?” I wonder, peeling my jacket off and setting it over the chair. I push my sleeves up, cautiously making my way around the side of the island.

I pause beside her, and a nervous smile pulls at her lips.

“Ma was looking for some peppers,” Mason offers.

I nod, trying to keep my breathing steady because I think I know where this is going. “There’s some jalapenos in the fridge.”

“You think that would be okay?” Ari wonders, glancing my way briefly.