Say You Swear

Mason hangs his head, and Brady looks away, neither says a word, because really, what can they say?

This was a long time coming, and they know it.

Needing to get away, and quickly, I take the steps two at a time, dragging myself around the property so they can no longer see me.

My body is shaking in cruel punishment. A viscous ache working its way up my throat, and it wins out.

I stumble toward the trash can in the corner, my stomach draining into the black garbage bag, taking the little bit of hope last night brought with it.

Maybe I’m making a mistake.

Maybe this is the wrong way to do this.

Maybe I need to go against what she asked.

Maybe I should hang my hat and walk away.

Chapter 45

Arianna

* * *

Rushing down the stairs, I jog out front, quickly slipping into my mom’s car.

“Sorry.” I wipe the rain from my forehead and buckle up. “Mia had me pinned up on a pedestal longer than expected, trying to get my dress to fit right.”

“When is this dance?” She pulls onto the street.

“Mom.” I laugh. “It’s not high school. “It’s not like prom. It’s basically an end of season award ceremony.”

“That is set for formal wear and in a rented-out hall from what I heard.”

“True.” I smile, looking at her. “Anyway, yeah. It’s next Wednesday.”

“Hm,” my mom muses, her eyes shifting toward me.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Mom…” I turn in my seat, eyeing her.

“Nothing, sweetie.” She pats my leg. “It’s just soon, is all, and school begins the following week, right?”

“Yep. The twenty-seventh is the first day back. Chase is taking me to see my dorm a couple days before. It’s so weird that I have no idea what it looks like, but I lived there for an entire semester.”

We pull into the parking lot of the hospital for my follow-up with the behavioral neurologist. Parking in front of the building, she turns to me. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Chase.”

Heat works its way up my neck, and I shrug.

She tips her head, a tenderness in her gaze. “How’s that going?”

“It’s going.” A low chuckle leaves me. “We’re having fun. Making up for what I assume was lost time. He’s constantly asking me to go with him places, even if it’s just down the beach. At first, it made me anxious, but now it’s, I don’t know…” I trail off, a small swirl stirring in my stomach.

“Exciting?” she whispers.

A smile curves my lips, and I look to her, the creases around her eyes deepening, but she smiles through what troubles her, her hand coming out to touch my cheek.

“It’s strange, it’s like he’s the same Chase, but not. Only, I can’t figure out what’s changed about him, but I feel it, you know? Something’s different.” It’s frustrating, at times, how the invisible fog won’t clear, but constantly stressing over it makes it hard to function, let alone breathe, so I try and keep busy so I don’t have to think past the moment.

I don’t tell her that.

“Have you wondered if maybe it’s not him who has changed?” My mom smiles softly. “That maybe it’s you who’s different?”

“I—” I shake my head. “I’m not different. I lost my memories, but I’m still me, and besides, they’re coming back any time. Tonight maybe. Maybe after this appointment.”

My pulse spikes, and I dig my fingertips into the cheap leather of the armrest.

“I didn’t mean your accident changed you.” She grabs my hand, unease in her tone. “Ari, sweetie, you came into your own at Avix, and sure it might have only been a semester, but that first taste of change was good to you.”

“And soon, I’ll remember all of it.” I nod, squeezing her hand. “I should go in before I’m late. I know they said no one is allowed in the room, but are you sure you don’t want to come up to the waiting room?”

“That’s okay,” she rasps. “I’ll grab a coffee down the road and come back, read while I wait for you. I’ll be right here when you get out.”

Nodding, I slip from the car.

As I step out, my eyes are pulled left, toward a small building beside the main one with the name, Tri-City Rehabilitation Center, in large, bold letters hanging over the double doors.

Pressure falls over my chest as I stare at the dark windows.

“You okay?” My mom’s voice shakes me out of my head, and I force a smile.

“Yeah. See you in a bit.”

I walk into the building, and while it feels like hours of waiting; in reality. it’s only a handful of minutes and then I’m sitting on a velvety sofa, the man who joined Dr. Brian in explaining what might have happened to me sitting behind the desk before me.

He smiles and I sit on my hands, a little anxious all of a sudden.