It was impossible not to soften when he said things like that. Maverick DeVille was telling me he wanted to spend his life with me. He was basically asking me to be his wife. It was a marriage proposal…but a real one.
“You’re my wife. What’s mine is yours. I want to take care of you. I want to spoil you. I want to pay for your coffee and gas.” He placed his hand over his chest. “I want to do those things.”
He was just making it worse.
“Let me take care of you.”
If this were two months ago, I would completely let go and give him what he wanted. I would rely on him completely, allow him to give me the world. But now that he’d hurt me, I was scared to accept those kinds of gifts. “All I really want is you, Maverick. We should work on our relationship before we talk about things like that. I can’t let you take care of me when I don’t trust you. Trust takes time…sometimes a really long time.”
His eyes shifted down to his wineglass as he swallowed his disappointment. He pulled the glass closer to him and stared at the table, his face somehow more handsome when he was brooding. “I’ve got all the time in the world.”
We sat in silence the entire drive home.
It was a long trip just for dinner, especially when we had a private chef at the house. It was our first official date, and Maverick had probably wanted to make it special.
One hand stayed on the wheel, while the other rested on the gear shift. When he drove fifteen minutes without shifting, he could pull his hand away, but he left it there like he hoped I would grab it.
I craved affection, but I wasn’t ready to pretend nothing had happened. If we were really going to make this marriage work, then I would have to forgive him eventually. But even if I did forgive him, that didn’t mean the trust would come with it.
He parked the car in the driveway, and we entered the house. It was quiet because Abigail had gone to bed. It just started to sprinkle when we walked up the stairs, the large windows showing the falling rain outside.
Christmas was just two weeks away.
It had slipped my mind.
We walked up the stairs to the second landing.
Maverick turned to me and immediately locked his arms around my body, holding me just as he did a couple days ago. His hold was aggressive, like he’d been counting down the minutes until he could hold me again. His arms rested in the curve of my back, and he brought me as close as he could.
I let it happen because I was too weak. I couldn’t fight it, not when it felt like home.
His hand slid under my hair, and he held the back of my neck. His head angled down so he could look at me, press his forehead against mine as he held me at the top of the stairs. His eyes moved to my lips, the longing evident.
He shouldn’t bother kissing me. I wouldn’t let it happen. The last person he kissed was one of the stupid bimbos that came over. I hated to think about kissing the same lips they’d kissed. They used to be mine…until he gave them to someone else.
Maverick was smart and didn’t try. “Thank you for having dinner with me.”
“Thank you for taking me.”
His fingers continued to caress my hair as he held me, the storm getting louder outside. Winter was a cloak of gray, dreary and dead. It brought water to the soil and mud to the surface. It was my least favorite season, but trying to stay warm with Maverick made it a little better.
It would be nice to invite him to bed, to have a strong man sleeping beside me. Sharing my space with Maverick became a luxury I never had before. My lovers slept over, but I’d never had a man like him. Now I missed it.
But not enough to give him an invitation.
“Goodnight.” I pulled away.
“Arwen.”
I turned back around but didn’t touch him again. It didn’t matter how handsome he looked in that outfit or how much I missed that hard body underneath those clothes. It was too soon to pretend everything was okay.
He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. “Just so you know…”
I took it from his hand but didn’t understand what it meant. I unfolded it and recognized all the labs that were ordered for a typical STD panel. Everything was negative. I folded it again, but if he expected me to be touched by what I’d seen, he was stupid. “A bit presumptuous?”
“I just want you to know you have the option.” He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to be with anyone but you. So, whenever you’re ready…I’m ready too. Just the two of us. I promise.”