After looking at the surprisingly
large crowd, I knew I would have to take his advice until the nerves settled. He started strumming the opening to “I Just Wanna Love You”. We purposely arranged our songs, so we were taking the audience on a journey of love. It wasn’t our journey, but it was a journey almost everyone could relate to.
This song was full of hope. This song was the beginning stages of love where you felt like nothing could ever get between the two of you. I almost lost my cue to join in, as I looked out at the crowd for just a moment. I quickly refocused and jumped in.
I could hear the nerves in my voice, and I wished I had taken a shot of liquid courage. When I looked up at Ben, I was able to focus once more, and I lost myself in the music. The nerves disappeared, and I embraced the tension vibrating through my body.
Before I knew it, the song was over, and the crowd was clapping. I looked up at Ben in surprise and he gave me a knowing smile. He waited until the crowd quieted down before beginning to play “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran. I took Taylor’s guitar as he took my seat at the piano.
We wanted to convey more intimacy to this song. We stood feet from each other, staring at each other. It was easy to not let the crowd get to me as I stared into his eyes and listened to his sultry sound. I could see why girls went gaga for him, but I felt…nothing. Absolutely positively nothing.
As I started to sing my part I had to think of my guys. As crazy and as disturbing as that sounded. I could pour my heart into the song if I felt like it was them I was singing to.
When that song ended, we both placed our guitars down and sat on stools on opposites sides of the stage. The lights went out and as Ben began to sing, a single spot light shined down on him. When I joined him singing “Say Something” by A Great Big World, the spotlight shined down on me.
This is where most relationships broke down. The lack of communication, the feeling of complacency where you gave up trying. We made our way towards each other, singing as if we both wanted to convey the same thing to one another, but our pride wouldn’t let us. By the end of the song we were standing back to back with our arms crossed.
The lights went back on and the crowd only seemed to get louder. I smiled at Ben and he smiled back.
“Well folks,” he called out to the crowd. “We’re going to take a break and then we’ll be right back.”
I waved and smiled at the crowd and followed the guys backstage. When we got back there, I tried to hug them all and failed, so I had to laugh at myself.
“What an adrenaline rush!” I exclaimed, and I felt the warmth in my cheeks. I knew I had to be glowing.
“Well, well, well look who let the spotlight get to her head,” Rick laughed with a wink.
“You did great out there,” Taylor smiled as he threw an arm around my shoulder.
“Please say you’ll stay with us,” Ben said after he took a long drag of his water bottle. I could see the beads of sweat rolling down his hairline and it only made me more aware of the sweat dripping down my neck and back as well.
I grinned up at him. “How about for now,” I stated. “With work, Ella, and school right now, I feel like it’s something I can handle, but if it gets to be too much I may have to back out. What do you think about adding some original music to the mix eventually?”
“He won’t like it,” Rick stated. It was clear that Ben was the leader of the group. “I’ve tried to propose it to him for a while now, but he’s stuck in his ways.”
Ben blushed. “Well, if the right songs were to come our way, I think it may work.”
“I think I may have a few,” I stated.
I had been creating and writing music for years. That was my comfort zone. This was all new and exciting, but I didn’t know if I could survive on the constant adrenaline high of being the center of attention. I had enough of that in my life right now.
“Great,” Ben said. “Bring them to practice on Tuesday and we’ll look them over.”
“Times up, love birds,” Mike made a gagging sound. “Let’s wrap this up, I’m hungry.”
“I need a shower,” Taylor chimed in.
We took our positions back on stage and sang “Highway Don’t Care” by Taylor swift and Tim McGraw, but our own version. This was the driving away song. The realization that things were over. Knowing you wanted to be with each other, but the chasm seemed too large to cross.
We ended the night singing “Broken” by Seether. The first song we sang together and the perfect song to end the story of our fake relationship. The raw emotion of missing someone. The realization that a part of you was gone, the moment the other person was no longer in your life.
By the crowd’s reaction, I knew they understood the journey we had taken them on and they loved it. I let Ben and the guys talk to the manager and handle all the business stuff as I made my way back to my ‘family’. They had texted me that they would be in the middle right-hand side of the restaurant with some tables pushed together.
I started to realize the error of my thinking. The crowd wanted to tell me what a great job I did or talk to me, which I was okay with at first, but some of them didn’t get the hint and started to touch me a little too intimately. I could feel the panic set in. I had been lulled into a false sense of security around my ‘family’. With every touch and smile they gave me, I had forgotten (well almost) the ugly in the world.
When I felt like I was going to go into a full-blown panic attack and felt a strange warmth radiating through my body, I felt and smelled a reassuring warmth.
“Back off,” I heard Remy growl.