Gifted Connections 4

I laughed. “You will,” I told her as I verified that I had my phone, post office key, and wallet in my coat pockets.

“Maybe,” she called to my retreating back.

I threw a wave over my shoulder. She was all talk, no action.

“Want to get a coffee?” I asked Sierra as we left the parking lot and got on the sidewalk.

“Mmm maybe a hot chocolate,” Sierra enthused as she closed her eyes and inhaled the crisp air. She wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, which made me believe she was partly un-American. Who didn’t like coffee?! That was like saying you hated apple pie, baseball (honestly, I could care less about baseball, but I would still go to a game), and hot dogs!

“How are you feeling?” Sierra asked as we made our way through the throngs of people.

I was starting to resent that question. A lot of people were asking me that nowadays. I found them watching me and looking at me with worry. I was never much into sitting around the campfire and singing Kum ba yah. In other words, I hated showing weakness and talking about my feelings with other people. I had spent too many years learning how to protect myself and handling things on my own.

Earlier, I had spent over ten minutes arguing with Remy; he hadn’t wanted me to go to town with just the girls. He was always protective, but since I had fallen ill, he was excessively so now. I loved him for it, but it was also slightly…infuriating. The girls had to reassure him that I would never be left alone, and if I even looked like I was getting sick, I needed to come straight home.

“Better,” I answered concisely. “I’m up, and I’m moving, so I’m good.”

“It still blows my mind,” Sierra said quietly. “I knew our connections could have an impact on us physically, but I didn’t realize losing a connection or not making a connection could be that debilitating.”

“Apparently it works in varying degrees for everyone.” I grimaced. “I guess since my gifts are so…powerful, my decline would be just as devastating.”

We finally reached the coffee shop, and I was thankful to end the conversation. I felt like I had spent too many days in thought about my current situation and it was only wearing on me mentally. I needed to start looking for all the good around me and stop focusing on the bad or I would suffer for it.

“I may need your help,” Sierra said, apparently realizing I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. We joined the line. It was just as packed in here as it was on the street.

“With what?” I asked as I started looking at the coffee cups and other coffee paraphernalia near the line.

“I know Gavin likes to play guitar, and the last time we were in town I saw him looking at the ones in the pawn shop. His parents offered to send him his, but you know how he is. He hates being an inconvenience to others, so I wanted to get him one for Christmas. Can you pick out the best one they have?”

I nodded with a smile. “No problem. I could do that. Would you like to go now or wait until we’re on the way back from the post office?”

“We can wait. You only have a small package, right? I wouldn’t want to haul a guitar around everywhere.” Sierra smiled widely with a new pep to her step.

We finally got to the front of the line, and I ordered her a large hot chocolate and a large peppermint mocha for myself. As an impulse buy, I also bought six bags of the chocolate covered espresso beans. They would be a great stocking stuffer for the guys. Then I decided to grab four of the snowmen mugs with hot cocoa and marshmallows in it for the kids’ stocking stuffers. I really wasn’t going crazy on the children. From the sounds of it, everyone from the team was going overboard with their gifts.

“The holidays used to stress me out,” I confided quietly to Sierra. “I was so destitute, and I had so many bills to pay. It was hard for me to give Ella a good Christmas every year. Then she would go to school, and all the kids would brag about what they got for Christmas. She never complained, but I know it was embarrassing and hard for her. It’s still so surreal to me that I can buy gifts for so many people and not stress about draining my bank account.”

Sierra nodded solemnly. “We weren’t that bad off, but we weren’t rich either. The few times I saw my mother growing up was when she was out of money. She always said it was to see me, but the moment she found something of value at my abuela’s to sell, she was gone again.

She sighed, then continued. “I almost didn’t get to go to college because she got ahold of the bank account my abuela and I had worked so hard to get money into. Since my name was on the account, and I wasn’t technically adopted by my abuela, she was able to drain it all.

“Luckily, I got a fantastic summer job during my Junior year, and I earned some scholarships. She showed back up just in time to watch me graduate, denied stealing my money- although we had proof- then she had the nerve to ask me to help her with her bills and groceries.

“Abuela always looked the other way when she stole from her, but she completely cut her off when she found out she took from me. I think my mom reached the end of the road. She contracted HIV from the used needles and unprotected sex and went into hospice. It forced her to clean up. That’s when I finally formed a relationship with her. So, I can understand why Jemmy and Dawn feel like Miranda shouldn’t have a part in the children’s lives, but my abuela showed me what love really was and was always there to pick up the pieces. The kids are lucky that they have not you but the whole family as well. It’s not the same, but at least they have a strong support system.”

We were taking a leisurely stroll behind the shoppers in front of us, and I felt touched that she shared so much with me. I was once told bottling stuff up wasn’t healthy for me. Slowly but surely, I was learning to trust those around me enough to share more about myself.

“Thanks for having my back, back there,” I told her as we finally reached the post office. “Jemmy’s mom hurt her, and I think she expects all mothers to do the same, and let’s be honest—the gifted people we know don’t have the greatest families. And except for Gavin, I’ve met a lot of broken gifted people.”

“Did you know about her dad?” she asked me tentatively.

I shook my head. “Drake asked me if we could talk about it, but we haven’t gotten around to it. In a way, I don’t blame him.” I shrugged. “It’s one thing to lose a parent in an accident or by sickness but another thing to deal with wondering if you’re the reason your parent suffered from a silent sickness that made him want to end his life.”

Sierra nodded. “Not to say one loss is harder than another, but I can completely see that.”

I reached my box and withdrew the slip telling me I had a package to pick up. I stood in line once more, getting antsy. I hoped the gift was as beautiful in person as it was online. I tried to be thoughtful in my gift giving this year and hoped they appreciated it.

When I got to the front of the line, I handed the postman my slip and waited patiently for him. I couldn’t wait to get home to open Drake’s present, so I found the little table they had for packing boxes and ripped it open. I opened the book and inhaled the new smell and nearly sighed