“Is there any other female nucleus’?” I asked. It was a question that crossed my mind all the time but never asked.
“I think dad said he knew of one out west, in one of the communities,” Jaxson said after a moment.
“Hmm, I wonder why it’s not as common,” I thought aloud before I leaned up and kissed Noah’s cheek. “Thanks for thinking I’m strong.”
“Hey, I think you’re strong too!” Jaxson loudly protested.
I giggled as I kissed his cheek too. “That’s a pity kiss,” I said tartly.
Noah guffawed at Jaxson’s mock crestfallen look. “There’s no thinking about it, love. You are. You have been through so much and still continue embracing life and keeping your head held high.”
I looked over at Jaxson. He was the only one that I couldn’t hide from when it came to my demons. I was able to get through the days when the sun was up. It was at night when I slept that the demons came out. I had been splitting my time with all the guys. Some nights even their presence couldn’t keep them away. In those moments, Jaxson almost always woke up and talked me through it.
“Never doubt how strong you are,” Jaxson said sincerely, all his normal laughter gone, and in his pale grey eyes, I could see he actually believed it.
When we were done with all the laundry, we went to drop Patrick and Nadia’s clothing off first. I was getting ready to open their door when it was yanked open.
“Hey, Jax, Noah, and Blake,” Beth smiled. Her light had dimmed after Steven’s death, too. She used to have the ability to change her hair and eye color at whim. She was like a human kaleidoscope. Since Steven’s death, her hair always remained a pale blond, and her eye color only varied from brown to blue.
“Hey,” I responded back with a smile of my own. “Since you went with Drake, I figured I’d get the kids clothing washed for you.”
She clasped her hands to her heart as tears entered her eyes. “Thanks, you have no idea how much that means to me. I was glad I got to get the chance to go with Drake. I could help him and get a chance to stop by the house and get some mementos, clothing, and such. I’m still not sure what we should do with that house,” she trailed off lost in memories.
“It was no problem,” I quickly told her, uncertain if she really wanted my opinion or if she had just been talking out loud. “We’re going to head into town tomorrow, if you have any requests; bedding, snacks, or anything else you can think of, let me know. We planned on taking the kids, if you’re okay with that.”
She nodded. “That’ll be great. I think I’m set, but I’ll send you a card for the kids. They need to get out some. Paul and Will have me working on communicating with some of the other gifted communities. I think we have some representatives from Illinois coming in tomorrow, and they’ve appointed me as the liaison.”
“That should be interesting,” I laughed. “I don’t envy you that task.”
“I don’t mind it. It keeps me busy. I never realized how many communities we had out there. Steven use to come home and talk about them, but I kind of tuned him out.” Tears entered her eyes. “Anyways, you guys run off. Thank you so much for doing their laundry. I can get my one load done rather quickly now.”
Noah and Jaxson gave her a quick hug before we turned to go to our room a few doors down.
“I never know what to say or do,” I said awkwardly as we neared our door.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Noah stated. “Just be there for her like you have been.”
When we got back to the room, there were several rucksacks laid out on the floor, and Drake was lying on the couch as he watched Remy, Jace, and Troy go through them. I went over to him and waited for him to scoot over before I squeezed in next to him.
“How was it?” I asked quietly. “I’m sorry, again, for not having my phone with me.”
He pulled me in close and rubbed my back. “It’s a girl,” he said in an expressionless voice.
“And she still won’t take a DNA test,” I sighed.
“Nope,” he sighed. “Honestly, I want to stop going to these things. Expecting a child should be fun and exciting, but she’s sucking the joy out of it. Every appointment revolves around money and why she isn’t getting any. I don’t even think she cares about this baby. This baby is just a tool to her.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I didn’t know what to say. There was no guarantee he would get to experience it either. When or if I ever decided to have children, there was no guarantee I could have more than two. My mother had been capable to have five of us. Did I want a huge family? Did I even want more than two if I could have them? What happens if they all wanted a child? I tried to push the thoughts away. I had years before I should even be stressing about having children.
He shrugged and pulled me closer.
Chapter 4
The children were in high spirits at breakfast when they found out we were going into town for the day. I guess they were getting as stir-crazy as we had been. Beth had given us a card, despite our protest. She had been reluctant to admit she wanted some things, but Jace insisted she give us a list of what she’d like.