I turned around and looked at him. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “They need to be stopped.”
“Not by you,” Jaxson insisted as he grabbed my upper arms.
Drake’s face was in mine, and I could feel his pain. I could feel his fear. “Please, Blake. Let them go. Pops will make sure they get the justice they deserve.”
“To a top-secret facility where they can’t use their gifts, so what?” I laughed harshly as I sobbed.
“It’s worse than death to them,” Troy swore quietly.
“Boys!” Pops came into the clearing and looked at them pointedly. He probably had been standing there for some time. They all made a step towards me.
“No!” Remy roared out. “We can’t force her to drop her hold. She needs to do it on her own. Baby girl,” he said insistently. “My step dad is in a wheelchair, and it still isn’t enough for me. He can’t go to the bathroom without help. He has endless doctor’s appointments. He’s only living half a life. All that money he thought he was receiving is spent on medical bills now.
“I’ve imagined his death over and over again, and at the end of the day, I know it still won’t be enough. They will get their due, but it doesn’t need to be by your hand.”
It was the second time I had physically seen him this vulnerable, and I knew there was truth behind his words. He would know. He lost the person that meant the most to him and still found no peace in the retribution he doled out.
I closed my eyes and forced the anger, hate, and pain away. My gift warred with me but I couldn’t let it win. I forced her out and welcomed the blackness.
Chapter 27
The next time I woke up, I was sandwiched between Jace and Remy on a large bed. I looked around in confusion, not realizing where I was. I didn’t recognize the room or the bed. I sat up and noticed that it was a larger than the rooms we stayed in on base but not as big as my room at Will’s. I immediately noticed it was absent of windows. It reminded me of the base but the décor and flooring threw me off.
It was decorated in a muted yellow and grays. There were two closed doors, one I assumed led out of the room and the other a closet. There was a dresser on the opposite side of the bed with a large television mounted above it, and a grey couch at one of the walls.
A couch currently occupied by Troy. The flooring was made of laminate wood, and I saw Noah, Jaxson and Drake stretched out in their sleeping bags. I looked down at my watch and saw it
was nearly noon.
My stomach growled loudly, and I noticed how hungry I was, how dry my mouth was. I needed to brush my teeth, needed coffee, needed food. In that order. I quietly groaned and held my hand up to my forehead, remembering the events of the night before. I needed to find Kade, Micah, and Alex and see how they were doing. I still had this overwhelming urge to protect, even from their biological mother. I still couldn’t find it in myself to forgive her. We had all suffered so much because of her decisions. Just as Hazel said. Even her own mother had seen that.
“Hey,” Jace said quietly from beside me. He reached out and caressed my cheek. “How do you feel?” I looked down at his heavily lidded eyes. He looked more tired than I had ever seen him.
I sighed and closed my eyes. I couldn’t answer him honestly. I didn’t want to lie and tell him I was fine. I wasn’t. I didn’t want to tell him the truth because I didn’t want to wade through all of that right now. I wanted to lock it up and bring it out for closer inspection when I was ready and take as little or as big chunks away from it at my own pace.
“I’m alive,” I said finally slowly opening my eyes.
“Thank God for that,” Troy groaned as he turned over onto his stomach to look at me with his big honey colored eyes and outrageously long eyelashes. He looked just as tired as Jace did.
I felt Remy’s vice like grip tighten around my stomach and saw his blue-grey eyes focused on me with intensity. I reached out and squeezed his hand. He had saved me from myself last night. All the guys had chipped away from my rage but he had calmed it. He had pulled me from the ledge.
The truth was, I didn’t need their blood on my hands. I already carried too much burden. My bag was heavy. I didn’t need to add more stones. My cold analytical side saw the logic in ending the terror from them and giving them what they deserved. My heart knew that there were parts of me that hadn’t been hardened by life. It knew there were only so many fragile pieces left of it, and I didn’t want to turn into complete stone.
“I swear if you ever do that to me again,” Jaxson sighed deeply as he rolled over onto his back. “I have never felt such devastation, not even when mom left us. I love you, Blake, and I can’t lose you.”
I was shocked by his confession in front of all the others. There was no smile around his lips, no mischief in his eyes. He was wide open. All his defenses were down.
“I love you, too,” I admitted to him quietly. “I love you all.” I added. They had all confessed their love for me, save Troy, but I knew the feelings were there. He all but told me in other ways.
“How did we get so lucky?” Noah yawned as he stretched. “You still owe me a few dances, by the way.”
I laughed. “We’ll go out again, sometime.”
“It’s my turn next!” Jaxson exclaimed.
“Children,” Drake jokingly scolded as he stood up. Can we talk later? he asked me quietly.
Of course, I told him. I had a feeling he wanted to explain the whole thing about his dad, but the truth was, he owed me no explanations. I wished I would have found out from him and not Bridgette, but it wasn’t my place to be mad at him. I imagined it was hard enough for him to have lost his father and devastating to lose him in that way.