I swear he smiles at me. His tongue
lolling to the side as his eyes track all my movements again.
Leo’s sat on the shore watching us run along the edge of the water. The July sun is beaming so bright that it’s blinding. It’s so peaceful that it’s impossible not to feel happy and safe here in spite of all that’s happened.
We’ve decided to spend some time away from London. I think that here, Leo’s taking the time to grieve. Matilda is still in bits over Kit. She can’t believe that he died in such a freakishly tragic car accident.
More lies. More secrets.
The truth is always on the tip of my tongue when I sit with her. When she tells me about all the beautiful memories she has of her grandsons. But now, more than ever, I understand the need to protect her from the truth. She wouldn’t survive it, and if she did, her heart would never recover. And as selfish as it may be, I want her heart to remain as big and warm as it is. Leo needs her softness.
We’re all still so shaken up over what happened. London just feels like a death-trap I don’t want to be in right now. I don’t know how Arabella can bear staying there. Christopher is barely hanging on. Sometimes I wish I’d said yes to walking with them, maybe things would’ve been different.
Barking at me to throw the stick, Toby jumps up at me, his large paws pushing down on my shoulders, pull me down. Before I know it, I’m on my arse on the ground and Leo is fussing over me as he berates Toby.
“Relax! I’m fine. Honestly!”
“He could’ve hurt you.” Picking me up he holds me close to his chest, and I don’t miss the way he looks in the direction of my scar. I made sure I wore my most covered up bikini, hoping that he’d forget about it for just today.
“Stop treating me like every little thing is going to break me. It’s not. He was just playing.”
“He knows not to jump up.” He says, not listening to a word I’ve just said as he lowers us onto the wet sand with me pressed to his chest. “Besides, you are breakable, Cass.”
He’s doing that whole thing where he broods over what could’ve happened, rather than what’s happening here and now. I love him for it, but I miss his roughness. I miss the way he squeezes me so tight that I can barely breathe.
I keep thinking of that first time he stood me in front of the Delaroche, and I can’t help but wonder if he sees me like that girl in the painting now that I have a scar to remind him of his worst nightmare.
I can’t bear that thought. If anything will break me it’s that. And I refuse to break for anything and anyone other than him.
“I want you to touch me, Leo.” Straddling his lap, I twist his cap backwards. My fingertips tangling in the longer ends of his hair. With the salt they’re curling, and I love the coarse feel of the strands.
“I am touching you.” Eyes on mine, his hands splay on my back rather than sinking into my flesh.
“No, I want you to touch me. Devour me. Mark me.” I want his mouth all over me. Without his bites and marks, my body feels bare. I miss the small bruises on my hips from where his fingers dig in deep to pull me closer to him.
I miss the way my nipples were always sore and slightly chafed from his rough fingers. I miss the ache in my thighs from the way he used to spread me open for him. “I want you to own me again.”
My eyes trail down his sun kissed chest, it doesn’t matter how many times I get to see or touch his tattooed skin, it always makes my heart race with want and need.
“Please.”
“Cassie…”
“If I’m to break, then I want to do it for you. Please.” When I look up to get another glimpse of his face, all the breath leaves my lungs. He’s the most tragically beautiful man on this earth. And God, I love him so much that it’s probably a sin.
“You already have.” The grit of his voice is accompanied by the press of his fingers on either side of my waist. “I could’ve lost you. You see that?” Pushing up the hem of my long sleeve bikini top he exposes the pink scar on the side of my chest. “I could’ve lost you and been left with nothing.”
Lowering his head to my chest he leans me back on his thighs, pressing soft kisses to the bottom of my exposed breasts.
Ignoring the nicety of his soft kisses, I push my chest up to his face with a moan when his teeth barely graze my skin. “Take a bite, Leo.”
I know he wants to; his body is shaking with the need to give me what I’m asking for. He can’t help it, just like I can’t help wanting it.
“Do it. Bite me.” Pulling his cap off, I throw it on the sand. And tunnelling my fingers into his overgrown hair I tug until his eyes meet mine. “You promised, remember? Whatever I ask for…”
He’s looking at me with those blazing eyes that tell me he’s desperate to let go, and once he does, he won’t be able to stop. He’s a Pandora’s box begging to be opened.
Leaning back up, I rake my nails down his chest as I lift onto my knees. His chest heaves as he swallows down the blatant need coursing through him, and his hands slip down my waist to my arse. As I pull the cords on his swim shorts loose, his stomach muscles tense and when I tug them open his cock springs free, bobbing between us.