Thigh touching mine, he leaves no space between us. Every one of my cells protests at the contact. Every breath catches in my throat like barbed wire, cutting me up and leaving me raw.
I can’t do this. I can’t…
Before I can stop myself, I’m running. I have no idea what I’m running to or from. All I know is that I’m so tired, so fucking tired, and I can’t betray Christopher like that.
I thought that I could do anything for him. But it’s another failure I have to stomach.
Pushing through the toilets door, I slam it behind me. There’s no one here. The dim lights are red and dark. My heels slip on the polished marble as I race to the sink a retching mess.
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I don’t know what’s worse—the mistake I’ve already made or the fact that I can’t go through with fixing it.
I can’t sell myself to the devil when I’m already married to a god.
This place might as well be hell. I’m burning and all the hate inside me is threatening to erupt, and I can’t physically contain it any longer.
I can’t look at myself without hating everything I see. Without seeing all of my mistakes. Without feeling the weight of all my sins. It’s crushing.
“I hate you!” Picking up the heavy soap bottle, I throw it at my teary reflection. And it feels so good to break something outside of myself that I don’t stop. The flower vase. The hand lotion. Everything I can get my hands on, and when that’s not enough anymore, I use my bare hands.
My black blood smears in the red-tinged mirror as it runs down my hands and my wrists.
The more I stare at it, the more I’m taken back, and all I can see is darkness. Dim streetlights barely lighting the street ahead…
Chapter 9
Arabella
“Stop, Arabella!” I can hear Christopher’s footsteps behind me quicken as he jogs after me.
Picking up the hem of my dress, I try to run a little quicker, even if it makes all my insides shake and the baby kick like mad. I’m not even going that fast, but with the extra fabric of my dress and my flip-flops, I can’t balance myself when I trip over.
My hands instinctively grab my belly—the baby inside my only worry—as my footing gives and my stumble takes my legs completely from under me.
Shit!
“I told you to stop, Belles,” Christopher murmurs into my ear, his arms wrapped tight around me as he holds me to his chest. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be running around anymore.”
Twisting me to face him, he kisses my forehead with a chuckle. In the muted moonlight, I can just make out his handsome smile, and like always it does everything to me. My insides melt and my heart booms in my chest, begging for one of his searing kisses. The ones that make my world tilt and tumble and spin…
Like he can read my thoughts, his lips press to mine with a long inhale. “You always smell so fucking good, all I want to do is eat you.”
Sucking my lip into his mouth, he groans, the vibration making me salivate as my pussy clenches for him. I can’t get enough of him. He’s a constant need I can’t satisfy.
Christopher makes me so greedy that I can’t help but blush at all the ways I want him to eat and taste me right now.
His tongue licks over mine with our mixed moans and trembling breaths. And God, fuck this freedom. Forget walking around in the moonlight. “Take me home, cariño.”
He pulls away slightly with a grin cutting his face in the most perfect way. Taking my hand, he starts to walk me back towards where Murphy’s standing a few streetlights away.
“Hold on! My flip-flop came off!”
With a shake of his head, Christopher turns to me, bending down to help me with it. It’s a bloody flip-flop; I don’t need him to help me put it back on. But there’s something about seeing a strong, powerful man get on his knees for you. It’s thrilling. It makes my blood pound hard and hot for him.
He knows exactly what he’s doing too. Lifting the hem of my dress, he strokes up my calf with the back of his fingers. His tongue licks across his lips as he looks up at me with a promising smile.
“Foot.”