“Don’t start with that power game bullshit. We’re not a fucking game!”
“It’s not a game though, it’s a strategy. You risk the most valuable piece for the one that will win the game. The one that will get you the goal.”
“It’s bullshit! This isn’t chess, and you’re not a queen. You’re my existence.”
“That’s our life. This. I forgot it and it cost us everything. It cost us the most important thing.”
Our baby.
“It wasn’t you. You did nothing wrong, morena.” I sit on the edge of the bath beside her, my hands instantly going through her hair. Dipping one into the water, I cup some and pour it on her crown, then repeat the process as I continue our conversation. “Wanting to be normal isn’t selfish. It’s called normal for a reason—it’s the standard.”
“But that’s not who we are, is it?” Looking up expectantly, like she’s hoping that somehow I’ll contradict her and that it’ll be the truth because I’ve spoken it, she waits for my reply.
“No.”
“You see?” Laying her head back on her knees, she sighs. “That was my mistake. I forgot that.”
“Why did you lock me out? You wouldn’t let me see you…”
“Because I couldn’t bear to see your pain. Your disappointment. The way you looked at me whenever you walked into the room…you didn’t say anything. You looked at me with your world broken in your eyes, and all I could hear was what my dad had said.”
“What did he say?” Tension and frustration coil through my muscles, my hand fisting too tightly in her hair.
“Nothing I hadn’t told myself already.”
“I want to know.” Crouching so we’re facing one another, I hold her gaze.
“Stupid, selfish, and short-sighted. That’s what he said right after he told me she was gone.”
“And you left me because of that?”
“No. Me leaving was a distraction…to protect you.”
“To protect me?” Grasping her jaw, I make sure she doesn’t look away.
“Yes. Because if you were focusing on me, you wouldn’t be looking for anything or anyone else. But then Leo and Freddie showed up, and I knew you weren’t far.”
“Through all our faults and mistakes…through all the sins we’ve committed, and we are about to commit, the blame does not touch you. They killed our baby. They hurt you. And they will all pay.”
“You don’t understand, cariño.” Turning her body to face me, her hands go to my knees, her chin resting on hers.
“I do, Arabella. I understand it all clearer than you know. You could’ve both been gone for good. Did you really think I’d chase you and
forget everything else?”
“I hoped you would, because the moment you touch Tomasz, all the others behind him will come for you. And it doesn’t matter who you have on your side, Christopher, because the way I’ve seen Tomasz operate…he believes he’s untouchable.”
More the fool him.
“There’s one very obvious flaw with your plan. You knew the moment I saw you with him, I’d be gunning for him. You must’ve known.”
“I did, but I thought if I could push you enough away that you would hate me so much that you wouldn’t care what he did to me.”
Her shudder alleviates the repulsion and tightness within me. The fact that she finds that idea as repugnant as I do makes it easier to stomach. Not much, but enough that I’m not jumping to my feet and shoving my fist down her father’s throat or shaking sense into her.
“This doesn’t happen again, do you understand?”
Her eyes flit down to the water, and I know beyond a doubt that her father was working her again.