“I never left you, Christopher. Who do you think left a trail for you to find me in the first place?”
Dark orbs flit to mine faster than a flash. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not stupid enough to walk into the lion’s den without a loaded gun.” Brushing his hair back, I twirl the longer strands on top around my finger. “When I took the ledgers from Kit’s apartment…I left copies of everything for Leo to find, and in case it took him longer than I had to work through his stuff, I took a photo of one of the pages and left it in my cloud for Freddie to find. So you would know I was doing something.”
“The photo had names. Leo said the pages have numbers.”
“Kit was helping Grace looking into some trail that connected all these events, I don’t know what they are because apart from the notes he had, I can’t figure it out. I know half of them are dates, but so much shit comes up when you search them…”
He looks completely engrossed in my words, the ticking of his thoughts apparent in his strained features.
“What about the logo?”
“I used headed paper from the club. It was a way of linking everything to make sure Freddie knew I was on to something and to let him know where I was. I knew he would be too much of a stalker not to hack my shit.”
“And you thought of all that?” I’m not sure whether he’s surprised, pissed off, or impressed as he braces himself over me again.
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure whether I’m angry or relieved. Honestly? I’m more concerned that you felt the need to put yourself in danger to make up for something that wasn’t your fault.”
I open my mouth to reiterate that not only was I doing what my father asked of me to try and stop him from getting hurt, but I was doing something to help move things along. Before I can say anything though, he silences me with a finger on my lips.
“You could’ve gotten yourself killed, and none of this is worth that. I’m not worth that.”
“Don’t be cavalier.” Hissing back at his words through his finger, I pull him down on me. “You’re worth everything.”
“Promise me you won’t do something so stupid again. No matter who tells you to.” His hands cup my face as mine slip under the elastic of his joggers.
“I wasn’t and it will never be stupid to me, and I’m not going to promise that I won’t do what it takes to keep you alive and out of harm’s way. I’m not even sorry. I’ve given you everything, Christopher. My life. My future. My soul. Everything. But that false promise is something I’ll never give you.”
The thuds of my heart quicken, echoing in my chest, the longer he stares me out. Two lines furrow between his brows as he holds me with his gaze.
“I can’t fight you for it. Can I?”
“No, you can’t. Like you can’t expect me to promise something you would never give me in return.”
“So we’re at an impasse.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Na-ah, we’re married.”
Chuckling, he strokes his thumbs over my cheeks, lowering his forehead onto my lips.
“We are.”
I kiss his forehead, squeezing his butt until he’s laughing so hard, I feel it in the way the hard planes of his body pressed into mine.
“You know what I’d really like?”
Chin butting on mine, he looks up at me, waiting for my reply.
“I want to go home.” Disappointment tinges my request, because right now, our home is a building site. But I desperately want our own space. I want to close the door, bolt it, chain it, lock it however many times we need to, in order to escape everything.
“I know. I want that too, but freezing my bollocks off doesn’t sound cosy or remotely inviting.”