Blaze (Virtues & Lies 3)

“Do you want to die?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, big ma—” The scowl he’s giving me as I look up at him makes me stop.

I move to stand in front of him, close enough that I have to tip my head back to meet his gaze. Casper is so dangerously alluring that all the words running around my head evaporate. I can only get closer. I understand now what it means to be a moth drawn to the flame—disaster. Beautiful. Epic. Disaster.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that even through my fear, he’s still the one thing that’s holding me together. It doesn’t make sense.

“Trouble…” he sighs, looking down on me like he’s as helpless as I am to this thing between us. “I need you trust me, okay?”

I don’t trust easily, something my mum always taught me, but… “Fine.”

I’ll give him what he wants because this isn’t about me; it’s about the small life inside me we’re both responsible for.

“Where’re you taking me, then?”

“Away.” He nods sternly.

“Where, Casper?”

“Somewhere no one will find us.”

The way he says that has every organ inside me twisting until I’m so tense that it hurts. I think I might collapse if I don’t hold on to him.

“Are you in trouble?” My hands flatten to his hard stomach.

“Something like that.” The faintest of smiles pulls at the corner of his mouth. I don’t think he realises it because his tone is sombre and foreboding as he brushes my hair back and then cups my face. He’s looking at me like I’m naïve or something, and it hits me then…maybe it’s not him, it’s me.

“Am I in trouble?” I nuzzle into the warmth of his palm, seeking a comfort I’m not sure he can give me.

“Your dad…” He doesn’t need to say anything because his face says it all.

My dad. The man who can’t bring himself to care about me or anything except himself.

I resist the burn of tears in the back of my throat. But it occurs to me that something’s happened with my dad and he’s the only one here. There’s no one else, and there’s always backup with them.

Casper’s not protecting me from the bad guys; he’s protecting me from our friends. And I know how this works. You can’t hide from them. Christopher and Freddie…they’re relentless in their hunts, and I’ve just become their prey.

“They’ll find us eventually, you know?” I focus on the stitching of his dress shirt to avoid my panic from overwhelming me. “They’ll find us, and they’ll hurt you for getting in their way.”

His hold on my face tightens with his thumb stroking over my cheek. “They’ll have to find us first, and considering no one knows about this place…”

“No one?”

“Nope.”

I take a shallow breath to steady myself. I need to be stronger. I can’t cry.

“But how? Why?” I take a step back because I need to put my big-girl knickers on.

“Because sometimes I like to disappear. I don’t want to be found.”

Yeah, I can see that being the case. And because this gives me the perfect opportunity to tease him and to lighten the weight in my chest, I say, “But I’ll be able to. Is that what you want?”

“What?”

I force a laugh, turning back to the bed and checking my bag. Everything is regimented and neat.

His nearness is palpable. Looking over my shoulder, I wink at him. “Do you want me to find you, big man?”