Blaze (Virtues & Lies 3)

“Well…” He crouches in front of me.

Lifting my foot onto his knee, he knots one of my laces without me asking. I would push him away if not for the fact that I can’t bend over to tie them myself.

“It’s been here long enough. I don’t see why we can’t leave it where it is for now.”

“But what if someone breaks in and…”

“We’re not the first people here since she…ummm…” He swallows, that pained grimace contorting his face again. “Trust me, people have been here. Your mother would never have left an animal to die.”

Visions of the rotting feline corpse I stumbled into earlier make me shudder.

“I know. She never let me have a pet because we’d have to abandon it if anything happened.” Taking his proffered hand, I stand. Lucian smiles down on me. “She had me though.”

“Grace loved you.”

“I know that too. But still, I always wondered if she really wanted me. You know…I mean, I wouldn’t get rid of her,” I murmur down at my belly. “But that’s not to say that if she hadn’t happened the way she did, that I would choose to do this.”

“Let me tell you something—it’s always the unexpected things that we love the most.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “Because they’re fate. Life’s miracles and mercies to make it worthwhile.”

“I like that.” A teary chuckle vibrates from me. “I like that a lot.”

“Me too.”

Lucian grabs my bag and starts for the stairs with me following behind him. Ryan is already waiting by the front door. He remains in silence as he loads our bags into the Jeep and then helps Lucian make sure the place is locked up before we leave.

“Would you like to ride with me? The Lexus is more comfortable than that.” Lucian nods at the Jeep.

I look it over for a moment. It’s a 2001 Wrangler that’s seen better days. The black paint has chipped in places, and rust has started to come through. There’s no doubt the sporty Lexus he’s driving is nicer. It has leather seats opposed to the musty, water-stained cloth ones in the Jeep.

I look at Ryan, standing by the opened passenger door. His hands are in his pockets while he stares me out impassively. The tension between us is unmistakable, and it makes me cringe, the awkwardness of it making Lucian’s offer hold all the more appeal.

When I don’t reply to Lucian, Ryan pulls the gun he threw at me earlier from inside his jacket. He holds it out to me, eyes not straying from mine. “You know how to use it, right?”

“She doesn’t need it.”

“Maybe,” Ryan says, nodding towards him. “But we’re better safe than sorry.”

As I reach him, he places the gun in my hand, watching me carefully as I check it over the way Casper taught me.

“Thanks,” I tell him, not making eye contact because the shame is morphing into guilt the longer I stand in front of him.

I’m about to turn and join Lucian, when his hand cups my elbow, halting me as though he has some kind of invisible grip on me.

“About earlier…”

The silence that befalls us at those words is as pregnant as I am, and ready to explode.

“It was a mistake,” I whisper low enough that only he can hear.

“Exactly.” Hand dropping from my elbow, he edges closer to me instead. “I’m still here to protect you. That will never change.”

“Okay.”

“If you want to go with him…you can. He’s right, the Lexus is nicer. But you don’t close your eyes, got it?”