The soft slam of the bedroom door makes her shudder.
“Did you have to do that?” Fleur asks once the quiet has settled again, her eyes downcast as a tear falls onto her belly and runs over her cum-stained skin. “Did you have to be so cruel?”
“Shooting an ailing horse isn’t cruel. It’s euthanasia.” I hold her belly on either side, kissing it while our daughter has a good wriggle.
“Ryan isn’t an animal.”
I swallow down the flurry of curses that are on the tip of my tongue at the mention of his name from her lips.
“We’re all animals, Fleur. Some of us are predators, and others are prey. Some of us are born with sharp teeth and strong jaws, and others are born to flee,” I tell her instead. And if it isn’t the gospel truth, I don’t know what is.
“We hurt him, Casper, and all he did was protect me.”
“Look at me, baby.” She does, her hands pausing over mine. There’s sadness in her eyes, but beyond that, there’s shame. And I don’t like it. Not one bit. “If all he did was protect you, why would he be hurting over the sight of me fucking you. Why would he care over who belongs to who?”
She doesn’t answer.
“He loved you. He loved what isn’t his to love.”
“Hurting him for it is wrong.” Pushing me away, she sits straighter.
“I’m not going to feel bad, and you won’t feel ashamed of any of that. I forbid it.”
“You forbid me from feeling?” A sour laugh escapes her. “You can’t do that.”
“Yeah, I can. I just did. I forbid you from feeling shame. I forbid you from thinking of him, talking about him…you won’t go near him again. And if he touches you…”
“After everything he did. Everything he risked…for us, that’s how you repaid him. With callous retribution for something…for…” Wiping at her eyes, she shakes her head. “What we did was wrong.”
“Me inside you isn’t wrong. How could it be when we made her?”
“We didn’t make her with your dick in my arse and another man watching. Don’t play me.”
“Would you rather I accept it? Be a wet fool and shrug it off?”
Conflict twists her already pained expression.
“A man worth his salt protects what’s his. Do you know what that means?”
The light filtering from the window reflects in her tear-bludgeoned eyes when she holds my stare.
“It means that I protect you from everything. I protect your body and heart. I protect your soul and your name. Everything. All of you. All those things that are the best parts of me.”
“It was cruel.”
“It would be crueller to give him hope. Believe me.”
“Maybe, but it was still wrong. No matter how you justify it.”
“Fucking is fucking. Cunt or arsehole…it’s all fucking. Ryan watching or not…it’s still fucking. It’s still me loving you.”
The nod she gives my statement doesn’t fool me into thinking that she sees this from my perspective. I don’t think she ever will, but that’s something I can live with. I can live with her hating my action because I have her. And she is the most important thing to me.
“Loving you has never been and will never be wrong.”
“But he watched everything. He watched me…he watched me…” Her voice fades with her cheeks flushing a deep crimson.
She’s embarrassed. It’s something new to me. Something that makes her look so young and innocent that I just want to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.