“Mum’s the reason I hate the dark. She wasn’t a bad mother at all—she really did love me. I know she did because when she had an episode where she thought bad guys were after her…her instinct was to protect me. She’d lock me away, in the dark, so that no one could find me.”
Fleur’s never told me any of this. Most of what I know is from what Penny told me when things started nosediving into chaos.
At first, I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to her. I saw the writing on the wall, and it scared the shit out of me. But the longer I spent making sure she was safe, the more I realised how alone she was. Especially when Cassie found Leo. Fleur had no one. Charles barely gave her a glance, and his girlfriend was awful to her.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, breaking her silence. “But she genuinely thought she was protecting me from something.”
“I think she really was protecting you from something.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I think she was protecting you from him and the people he got involved with. She knew about it all, and it’s why he killed her. It’s why he and Kingsley got Kit killed too.”
“What?” Sitting up, she meets my gaze. “Is that why Leo hates me now?”
“Leo doesn’t hate you—he has no reason to. None of what happened is your fault.” And he doesn’t know either.
“Then why did they want to hurt me?”
“Because they needed someone to blame. They thought you had to know something.”
Just like when I asked her the first time, her eyes never deviate from mine when she says, “I didn’t know anything. He was never a hands-on dad and…” Taking a shaky breath as a tear slips down her face, she tries to steady herself. “When Mum died, it was just me. He had his girlfriend soon after, and the only time he spoke to me was when I was going through Mum’s things and he destroyed them all. I thought he was hurting. I thought he was going insane with pain.”
“He was covering his tracks, but he didn’t realise that the incriminating shit was all hidden away by Kit, and when he put it all together after she was gone…Charles and Kingsley took care of him too.”
“Why would Kingsley hurt his own grandson? His family? What could be worth it? Why would my dad want to hurt me?”
A sorrowful sob breaks from her. Tears sluice down her pretty cheeks. Even like this, she’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever known.
When I cup either side
of her face, her hands mould to mine. Cool even with the warm steam and water surrounding us.
“They’re short-sighted fools, Trouble. Their greed and selfishness blinds them to riches they already possess.”
“Why couldn’t he love me? He’s my dad. He should love me by default, shouldn’t he? You love her, don’t you?” Wiping one side of her face, she then drops that hand to her belly.
“Yes, I love her. Very much.”
“So why didn’t he love me? Why am I unlovable?” she cries. Silently. Always fucking silently, like she’s trying to hide all the pain from the world.
All I can think as I smooth the tears away with my thumbs is how I’m going to enjoy making that bastard cry. I’m going to luxuriate in his pain. Relish every drop of blood.
Standing, I bring her up with me and hold her naked form to mine, flipping the shower on so that the hot water warms through her.
“Look at me, Fleur,” I tell her while I work the water through her thick hair. “It’s not you. You are not the problem. You are not at fault. If there’s one thing that I can say in Ryan’s defence is that you are easy to love.”
The words make her freeze under my ministrations. As much as it pains me to be logical about it, I’m not altogether unreasonable.
“It’s not you that is unlovable, it’s Charles that is incapable of loving. Do you understand?”
Her stare focuses on my chest. Unmoving. The cogs in her head are turning and turning.
“You were shot. I heard the shot.” She swallows the water running into her gaping mouth, finger tracing the seahorse tattoo over the left side of my chest and shoulder. “There’s nothing. Why did you leave me?”
“I had to.”
“Leave me?” she sobs loudly.