Blaze (Virtues & Lies 3)

“If I hadn’t left you, we wouldn’t be here. I had to find him. To protect you and to give the others what they wanted. I told you that we wouldn’t have to hide forever. I meant it.”

Gasping for breath, she presses her forehead to my chest. “I thought you were dead. I really thought you were gone and…and I—I—I was angry. So angry. I wanted to hurt you so bad. Because you said you wouldn’t leave me, and you did.”

“Cameron and I set it all up. He shot and I watched you get into the bunker. I needed to keep you safe. I needed to make sure that you had your freedom. A life without freedom isn’t a life, no matter who you spend it with. And I want a life with you.”

My heart pounds as she nuzzles into me, her hands clawing into my sides desperately.

“I thought you were gone.”

“I know, and I’m sorry that I hurt you like that. But I’m not sorry for anything else I’ve done—it’s all been to protect you and to have a future with you, and her.”

I flatten my hand to her belly, and our girl starts stretching around. I swear I can feel elbows and knees trying to find extra room. It’s not something all that possible from how taut her skin feels.

How she could ever believe she’s unlovable, I don’t know. But it bugs the shit out of me that it’s something haunting her.

“You are beyond lovable, my trouble.” I tilt her face to mine, forcing her to meet my gaze. “It’s why I want a future with you. Why I need you to be free.”

Sad eyes find mine, and as I get back to her hair, she sighs.

Fuck, man, she’s so incredibly beautiful.

My insides twist at the gorgeous sight of her. My heart pumps faster.

A life without her wouldn’t be a life. And I want her all to myself. Selfish as I am, as hypocritical as it is of me to give her freedom only to steal it for myself, I don’t care. Fleur’s mine. No matter what, she’s always going to be mine.

“I’m going to marry you…and have lots more babies with you.”

“What?”

“You have so much love to give, and I want it all. I’ll only share it with her and all the others we’ll have.”

“Casper…”

I ignore the look she’s giving me. Like I’m crazy or something. Maybe I am, but…

“I also want a shit tonne more pregnant sex because you’re so fucking sexy. Especially when you come the way you did today.”

Her eyes roll dramatically, but a bashful smile finally pinches her lips.

“Isn’t this baby enough?” she asks while I shampoo her hair. I’m pretty certain I’m using the wrong shit because it doesn’t smell like her shampoo. And I remember packing it for her.

“Nah-ah. You look too good with my baby inside you. We have to do it again.” I said it to be funny the first time, to rile a reaction from her that would overshadow her sadness, but the more I think about it, and look at her, the more I realise that I do like it. I like all of it.

The thought of marrying her. Here. The thought of watching her birth our daughter. The thought of putting another baby inside her. I like them all…maybe too much.

When I’ve finished washing the suds from her hair, she looks up at me, her brow hitched and her eyes narrowed. “You’re a fucking weirdo.”

“Yeah, but I love you obsessively, in a completely seedy, objectifying, creepy, and totally back-to-basics kind of way.”

Fleur wraps her arms around my waist, her fingertips digging into my back like she’s holding on for dear life. I manage to wash with her still holding on to me, taking my time to wash my suds from her hair this time. And when we’re done, she looks up at me with the first real shine of happiness in her eyes in weeks.

“I’ll give you your babies if you feed me,” she chuckles with a shrug.

I smile, because I can’t not when she looks like that. “Deal.”

Chapter 29

FLEUR