With Every Heartbeat (Forbidden Men 4)

He blew out a shaky breath and grazed his hand over my knee before he ran his fingers up my thigh, where he grasped my hands from my lap and gripped them snuggly.

His voice was soft, without a hint of malice when he murmured, “What was it you once said to me: It wasn’t your secret to tell?”

I frowned and shook my head. “But this...this affected us. You and me. You wouldn’t have ever dumped her that night if you’d just known she was sick, would you?”

His amazing blue eyes held apology when they met mine. “I don’t know. Probably not. Then again, my feelings for you were pretty strong. I honestly don’t know how long I could have kept denying them and stayed with her. Stayed away from you.”

With a nod, I bolstered my shoulders wider. It felt good to hear him say that, but... “You would’ve denied them forever,” I said with complete assurance. “Because you’re just that kind of guy. Being a good, honorable man is worth more to you than your own happiness.” I sent him a smile to help him know I respected that about him. “We never would’ve gotten together if I’d have just told you the truth a long time ago.”

He didn’t return my smile. Instead, he seemed to deflate. “Are you asking if I regret us?”

“No.” I immediately shook my head, but then I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my face. “I don’t know. I don’t think I could handle your answer if I asked that.”

He moved closer. I felt the heat from his body soak into me, and the warmth of his breath as he lowered his face to talk into my ear. Then I heard him loud and clear when he whispered, “I don’t. I don’t regret being with you at all.” He kissed my forehead gently.

Well, I had been right. I couldn’t handle his answer, even though it was the one I wanted to hear. Guilt, and longing, and love tore through me. I curled my shoulders in and immediately started to cry.

“But I’m her sister. Her sister.” I still couldn’t believe that part.

Quinn’s strong arms enveloped me, and he crushed me to his chest. “I don’t care.” His palm cupped my face and he led me to him, where I rested my chest over his heartbeat and listened to the rhythmic lub-dub inside him as silent tears streamed down my face.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and grabbed handfuls of the back of his shirt as he cradled me and let me cry all over him. He was warm and familiar. I selfishly gobbled up the moment, inhaling his spicy scent, memorizing the cadence of his heart, soaking in as much of his heat as I could steal. I loved hugging this man.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and shifted stray strands out of my face. “Better yet?”

I nodded against him, unwilling to break contact just yet. “Yes. Thank you.” I looked up and smiled through wet lashes, knowing I didn’t deserve such affection from him.

But he just kept on giving it, regardless.

“I have something for you.” He shifted, and I watched him lean off the side of the bed to pick up something from the floor. When he pulled up a familiar, tattered old notebook, my mouth fell open.

“How...?”

“It’s the one I borrowed from you, remember?” He handed me the only few short stories I had left in one thin notebook.

I took it reverently.

He sent me a sad smile. “And here...” He thrust a small thumb drive at me next. “It took me so long to get it back to you because I typed it all out. I wanted you to have an electronic file too. I kept worrying about fires and floods destroying them, but I never thought Hurricane Cora would the one to...well, anyway...I know it’s not enough to make up for the ones you lost, but…here.”

I couldn’t even accept the thumb drive; I was too busy bursting into a fresh batch of tears. “Thank you,” I sobbed.

The sweetest man on earth was sitting right here, letting me soak the shirt I’d borrowed from him to wear, and I’d done nothing but hurt him.

“I love you so, so much,” I babbled as I bawled, hugging my notebook hard.

He chuckled softly. “I was just going to say that to you.” Tugging me into his lap, he wrapped his large, warm arms around me. “Do you know how happy I am that you came into my life? It feels as if I didn’t really start living until you.”

I shook my head, confused. “But I…”

He kissed me, shutting me up. “I know there’s a lot going against us right now, but I don’t care. As long as you’re at my side, willing to accept me, I’m willing to work through anything.”

Love exploded inside me. “Then so am I.”

His grin lit up his dimple. “That’s all I need to hear. We can handle this, Zoey. You and I.”

I stood in the stands of ESU’s football stadium for Quinn’s divisional championship game and shouted with the rest of the roaring fans as Ten caught a pass from Noel and went in for a touchdown, tying the score up with our opponents.

“We’re going to win, we’re going to win, we’re going to win!” Caroline chanted, nearly squeezing my arm off as she jumped up and down beside me, screaming her excitement as well.