I wanted to. I wanted to so bad. I even swayed in, focusing my entire being on her mouth. A mere breath away from devouring her whole, reality intruded and reined me in.
I pulled back, rasping, “You know I can’t.”
“No.” She shook her head, her eyes filling with pain. “Actually I don’t know, because you won’t tell me.” With a shudder, she sank deeper into her robe, clutching it closer to herself. “You say you won’t try this because you’re afraid you might lose me. But sex wouldn’t send me packing. It’s you keeping secrets that will send me packing.”
Doom landed hard in my stomach, squashing all my rage, all my bitter jealous thoughts, and only leaving me sucked empty with an ice-cold dread.
“Sarah,” I whispered, afraid I’d just ruined everything, killed our friendship for good, and lost any affection she’d ever felt for me.
She looked away, and I swear her eyes went glossy with tears. “I think you need to leave,” she choked out.
“No.” I shook my head, desperate, and reached for her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t!” she snapped, batting my hand away, and in doing so, she had to let go of her grip on the robe, which in return gaped open, giving me an eyeful.
“Wha...?” My mouth fell open as I took in the red bra fringed in black lace, cupping the most perfect set of tits ever.
Sarah gasped and pulled the robe closed, once again hiding her body from me.
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say, what to think. She looked so good, my dick was painfully hard and already dripping out the end. I wanted her with an intensity that made my mouth water and skin tighten as if preparing for an orgasm.
But then I realized...that was no ordinary, everyday bra. That was a seduction bra, a bra meant to be seen.
Just who did she want seeing it?
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“Nothing,” she muttered, scowling at me but also looking completely guilty and a little humiliated. “Will you please just...go away?”
I laughed. Hard. While glaring. “Not until you answer my fucking question. Why are you wearing that? Who are you wearing it for?”
She looked mortified as she shook her head emphatically. “I...no one.”
“Sarah, don’t fucking lie to me.” I loomed closer. “Who...did you buy that for?” Because I was going to kill the fucker. I didn’t care if I wasn’t supposed to be jealous or wasn’t allowed to be upset if she went to another guy.
She was mine. End of discussion.
“Who?”
“Me!” she growled, shoving me away. “Okay? I went to the store and bought it today for me. I’m not trying to seduce anyone, you big stupid jerk. I just wanted to make myself feel...desirable. Do you not understand that Seth broke something inside me? I don’t...I don’t know...” When more tears filled her eyes, I fisted my hand and set it against my mouth, biting my knuckles to keep from reaching for her. “My entire life, I’ve felt more like an observer than a participant. And when he asked me out, it was like I finally had a chance to live. But then, what happened, happened and it...well...it felt like a big slap of reality, telling me I don’t matter, that I’m not enough, that I—”
“Stop,” I whispered, unable to hear any more, and feeling like the dick I was being.
Closing my eyes, I cursed myself for forgetting how much she’d been hurt. When I opened my lashes, Sarah’s face was bowed and her shoulders were curled in protectively. Knifelike pain pierced my abdomen with guilt for making her feel bad.
“You matter,” I murmured, knowing the next few words I said may just be the most important thing I ever uttered. “I could lose everyone I know and everything I had, and I’d still be able to handle it as long as I still had you. You’re the only person who does matter to me.”
Slowly, I reached out and covered the hand she was using to hold the robe closed. Then I applied the slightest amount of pressure, cajoling her to let the terrycloth fall open. She looked up at me, her gaze uncertain.
“Let me see,” I whispered.
Her throat worked as she swallowed. And then she dropped her hand away.
The robe parted.
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Closing my eyes, I groaned and pressed my forehead to hers. “How could you ever think you don’t fucking matter?”
She shook her head, and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I don’t know.”