“You okay?” he murmured, his voice raspy. He looked worried.
I released the breath. This man had been inside me. He’d seen me naked—was still seeing me naked—and listened to me make strange, embarrassing sounds. He’d been so right. Sex had been full of slapping skin, strange positions, bodily functions, and more feelings than I’d been expecting. But there’d also been something beautiful, and tender, and magical about it.
One thing was for certain: no way, no how could I ever have done that with someone I didn’t trust implicitly. I could definitely see how sex could go from beautiful to bad with the wrong partner. And I was so happy I’d chosen someone considerate and thorough, someone who liked me and put my feelings first.
I felt closer to him than I’d ever felt before.
Hauling off, I smacked him in the arm.
“Ouch!” he squawked, jerking away. “What was that for?”
“For saying sex was disappointing and not all that. You are such a freaking liar.” This had been the most intense, bonding experience of my life.
Rubbing the spot I’d bullied, he frowned in confusion. “When the hell did I say that?”
“The night you found out about my date with Seth, right after you told me how much you totally respected virgins.”
“Oh. Right.” With a rueful grin, he shrugged. “Yeah, well...I only said all that shit because I was worried you were going to have sex with someone else. Sex is actually really awesome.” He sent me the look and then ran his finger down my arm. “Especially sex with you.”
The compliment warmed me all over and made me feel all glowy. But to him, I lifted my eyebrows in warning. “And that I respect virgins line you fed me that night?”
“Well...” He scratched his eyebrow. “I respect non-virgins too. Honestly, the level of a person’s promiscuity pretty much has no bearing whatsoever in gaining my respect. My respect pretty much hinges completely on what kind of human being you are, so...”
“Mmm hmm,” I murmured. “You are such a bullshitter, Mr. Gamble.”
“Yeah, but I’m your bullshitter.” Turning playful, he rubbed the top of his head against my cheek before looking at me and grinning like an eager puppy, ready to please. “Whatever will you do with me now, Miss Arnosta?”
“Good question.” I rolled toward him until I was on top of him. “I’m going to have to think about this.” Then I kissed him.
He kissed me back, gripping my hair and thrusting his tongue. But the moment I felt him grow hard against my stomach, he rolled us until he was on top, pinning me to the mattress, reminding me he didn’t like to be on the bottom. And then when I tried to smooth my hands down his back because, come on, I just wanted to sink my fingers into his slick muscles and moan, he caught my fingers and trapped them down at my sides.
I huffed out a sound of annoyance; I wanted to explore him so bad, but I bit my tongue because I knew why he couldn
’t go there.
But he lifted his face to search my eyes. “It’s bothering you already, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, squeezing my eyes closed and wishing I’d contained my frustrations a little more silently. “I know you can’t help it. I just...I want to learn every inch of you. You let me touch you all the time. Why—”
“It’s not sexual then.” The agony in his expression begged me not to be mad. But I wasn’t mad. Not at all. “I can cuddle and snuggle and hold you all day. But as soon as it turns sexual...I don’t know. I just can’t—”
“It’s okay,” I told him, pressing my fingers to his lips to hush him. “I understand. And I can deal.” When he sent me a look, telling me he didn’t believe me, I added. “Truly.”
Blowing out a breath, he glanced up at the ceiling before brightening. “Here. What if we try this?”
Taking my wrist, he guided where my hand went as he set it against his chest and then made my fingertips trail over sculpted, taut pecs.
“Oh, yeah,” I murmured, watching every inch I got to touch, shivering when we reached the ridges in his abs. “Can I feel your butt?” I asked, then bit my lip and blushed for being so bold.
He laughed, but moved my hand over his hip and around to the back. My palm skimmed hard orbs and I sighed, closing my eyes and arching my back. When I squeezed his tush, he grunted and thrust his cock against my hip. Before I knew it, my knees were bending and legs were parting, silently begging him to take me.
“Jesus,” he breathed. “How sore do you feel? Do you think you can—”
“If you don’t fuck me right now, I may never forgive you.”
“Thank God.” He let go of my wrist to grab the second condom of the night.
I was still palming his ass and was almost certain he didn’t even notice until he had the prophylactic on. But then, sadly, he removed my fingers from him right before he shifted and pushed inside me.