I groaned and bent at the waist, my thighs clamped so hard together I was a little afraid I might not get them pulled apart again.
You can never see me, I told him.
Why not? he instantly flipped back.
I swallowed and glanced up at the trees overhead. For some reason the buds of newly blooming leaves gave me the courage to answer honestly. I’m afraid you won’t like what you see.
Impossible. You felt beautiful to me.
A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow it down. I loved what he said, and yet, I didn’t love knowing he would write something so sweet and pure...to another woman. A hard laugh blurted from my chest because I realized I was freaking jealous of myself.
This was getting more and more ridiculous by the moment.
Needing to keep him from saying anything else that might make me jealous of myself, I said, So your turn. Why don’t you want to meet? Did I cause a trigger last time?
Trigger? He was obviously clueless, which made me smile and instantly loosen my tense stomach muscles.
You told me about your sister’s death, I reminded him. Maybe you didn’t like exposing so much of yourself to me. Or maybe you didn’t like how I kept calling you Oren. Maybe you let me get too emotionally close and that made you uncomfortable.
I don’t know why I said any of that. Anything he responded with would probably hurt. If he told me he hadn’t felt anything for me during our encounter, I’d die. If he said he’d liked how he’d opened up to me, I’d get jealous of myself...again.
But instead of either of those responses, he said, You’re totally whack.
As I laughed and shook my head, he added, But that’s okay. I dig crazy chicks. I don’t mind that you’re a complete stalker or that you probably even know what color my panties are right now. I think your obsession with me is hot.
I laughed again, this one bordering on an outright giggle. You’re not wearing panties, I wrote, because they were probably boxers or briefs, or oh yum, my favorite: boxer briefs.
Damn, you’re good.
Reading his response made my grin widen, but a second later, I sobered. So if my creeper traits aren’t scaring you off, you don’t mind that I want our meeting in total darkness, and I didn’t hit any triggers, then why were you so quick to call tomorrow night off?
Baby, you’re the one who called it off.
I rolled my eyes. Was he really that dense? But you agreed IMMEDIATELY.
Oh I’m SO sorry, was I supposed to beg you to let me back into your pussy again?
With a frown, I pounded out my response. YES, DAMN IT!
Jesus, fine, he shot back. Please, my mysterious midnight visitor who feels like heaven around my cock, would you be so kind as to let me back into your pussy again?
Oh my God. What a douche. Fuck you.
That’s the plan, sweetheart. I want to fuck you until you can’t walk straight the next day. So are we on or not?
That would be a hell no. You don’t want me.
You are definitely a confusing fucking woman. FUCK! I do want you. Okay? I want you, and THAT’S the problem. I want you, but I want someone else, and I’m all fucked up in the head, feeling like I’m cheating on you both, when honestly I don’t really have either of you, do I? So any kind of cheating would be literally impossible, wouldn’t it?
I pulled back, staring at his words in a strange kind of shock. But he’d just admitted to wanting...someone. Was it me? Immediately, I wondered if it could be. Zoey seemed to think he cared about me. Occasionally between all his foulmouthed sluttiness, I caught a flicker of interest, but...I’d never been completely certain.
My mind raced. Could I actually make him feel guilty about sleeping with me because he thought he was betraying...well, me? Damn, that was as messed up as me feeling jealous of myself.
Are you saying you’re currently sleeping with another woman? I asked, purposely misunderstanding him, because I needed to gain more intel here. But I think the question irritated him a little.
Jesus! No. I just TOLD you, you’re the only person I’m fucking right now. I’ve never fucked the girl I want. I will never fuck her. I can’t.
My breath caught in my chest, but holy shit. It was me. He was talking about me. He had to be!