Consolation Prize (Forbidden Men 9)

But yeah…with the sensitive state Aspen was in these days, I wasn’t sure if she’d take it as a joke. So I took the paper without cracking a Colton, and hell yes, I opened it as soon as I hit the hallway.

Hers said:

Seriously, these two were so weird. And yet, kind of sweet.

Noel was in the living room, changed into his “Economics Teacher” clothes as he settled Lucy Olivia into a car seat carrier and instructed Beau to put his shoes on.

When he looked up and saw me, anxiety crossed his face. But he quickly cleared it and asked, “Everything go okay?’

“Yep.” I waited until he was finished with strapping in Lucy O and was sliding the diaper bag over his shoulder before I held out his note between two fingers. “For you.”

He paused when he saw it. Then his gaze sought mine. “She sent it back?” The dude seriously thought she’d rejected his love note.

I rolled my eyes. “She sent a response.”

That surprised him. He tore the paper from my fingers and whipped it open. The relief that swept off him mirrored the same relief I’d seen on his wife moments earlier. When he looked up, the grin on his face was the biggest I’d seen in months. “Thanks.” He tucked the note into his front jeans pocket and called to Beau, telling the runt it was time to head out.

When the door shut behind them, I blew out a breath and waited a beat, letting the entire morning soak in. Waking up to Julianna and experiencing a whole load of I-don’t-knows concerning her, then coming home to this had left me strangely morose.

But life was going to carry on without me if I just kept standing there like a contemplative dumbass, so I turned away and headed down the hall toward my room so I could get ready for classes, which started in under an hour.

Once I was under the full spray of the shower, I finally allowed my mind to return to Julianna again. I knew I was sending her mixed signals. But then, I was experiencing mixed emotions. Half of me still wanted to flirt with her. Half of me wanted to argue with her, half wanted me to stay bitter and rude, and half…shit. Four halves didn’t make a whole.

I was so screwed.

I kind of wanted to stay mad at her, and yet I kind of also wanted to not care at all because she’d made me care too much, but then I also kind of wanted to totally forgive her. All those wants and halves and thoughts went haywire in my head. But then, whenever she was right there in front of me, she was just so sassy and challenging, I started to act like I instinctively wanted to act before my brain commanded me to act another way. It was all just fucking confusing, and I was pretty much ready for it to end.

But the more I told my brain to forget about her, the more it thought about her.

She was a tough nut to crack. Some people might refer to her as bitchy, I guess, but I knew she wasn’t. Something Sarah had said once really cemented that fact for me. When Sarah had crashed Brandt and Julianna’s one date, she’d told me Julianna had been really cool about it. She’d been kind and understanding to Sarah while Sarah had been in crisis mode and had needed Brandt more than anyone. Julianna had even hopped into the back seat of his truck to give Sarah the front without complaint. Then she’d gone and introduced herself, very pleasantly. A bitch wouldn’t have done that, which had started my in-depth curiosity about her.

Honestly, I think she purposely put up walls to appear tough and independent, but also to hide her true self, meaning, of course, I had to breach all these walls and find out what she was so desperately trying to guard. I bet once she let a person in—

But then, yeah, everything between us was just wrong, so I should really stop wondering about all that. Brandt would always be right there between us, and she still fucking regretted what we had done together at the wedding, so…

That killed it for me. At least it should have.

And speaking of Brandt, he texted me on the way to class. Just a simple big-brother check in that said:

I think it was our first form of communication since he’d returned from his honeymoon. I didn’t want to feel any resentment that he was the main reason I was stupidly achy-breaky hearting it these days. He didn’t have a clue what was going on. But I still wanted to get through a conversation with him as quickly as possible.

When he sent me the middle finger emoji for my smart-ass crack, I grinned, feeling a little more settled with things between us.

But I didn’t feel so settled where she was concerned.

What’s worse, I took her to-go mug of coffee with me to school. And then I carried it around all day like some kind of lovesick sack. And the next morning…yeah, I washed it out, refilled it and carried it to class again.

We shared philosophy at ten. I still had a gulp of coffee left in the mug when I strolled into the lecture hall a couple minutes early. I set it on the corner of my desk, then kicked back, propped my feet up, and closed my eyes, waiting.

I hadn’t realized I’d been waiting for her until I smelled her perfume when she approached. The chair next to mine shuffled as she sat next to me.

Suddenly, my entire body came to life, nostrils flaring to inhale her scent, ears twitching for every little movement she made, nerves crackling with some strange kind of adrenaline rush.

Before she could speak, I said, “You’re not getting your mug back,” without even opening my eyes.

“How did you—” Her surprised voice sizzled through me.

“You have a very distinct smell,” I answered after she cut herself off. “And what other reason would you sit by me?”