The worst part: I still wanted him, maybe even more now than ever.
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 18
After he cleaned himself up and returned to the bed, we lay prone on our backs, side by side and stared up at the ceiling together for I don’t know how long, but it felt like eons that I just gaped at nothing and thought holy shit, what just happened?
I mean, my body still hummed from how hard and long I’d come, and I was sure I should be over the afterglow by now. But I was ready for more, eager for more, craving it like some kind of drug addict.
I blew out a breath and muttered, “Well, that didn’t get shit out of my system.”
Next to me, Colton grumbled his agreement. “Nope,” he muttered before he cursed and scrubbed his face. “Dammit. I guess this means once won’t be enough for us.”
Rolling onto my side, I gaped at him. “What do you mean once won’t be enough?” I shoved his arm, more scared he was right than actually angry about it. “You fucking asshole. You promised me once would do the trick.”
“No.” He turned to his side as well to face me, shaking his finger. “No, I never promised shit. I said I didn’t see why once wouldn’t do the trick. How the hell was I supposed to know you’d have a golden pussy that felt like...shit...nirvana!” He ran his hands through his hair, looking harassed and as unsettled as I felt. Then he sat up. “I built it up in my head so much I was sure it’d be a serious letdown by the time I finally got inside you.” He whirled around to stare down accusatively at me. “Why the fuck did you have to feel so good?”
“Me?” I pressed my hand to my chest. “You’re the one who went down on me with that perfect freaking tongue of yours and licked me like you were worshiping at some kind of sex altar. What was that about?”
“You said you wanted full service,” he boomed, throwing up his hands in disgust.
“That was before I knew you could get me off with your cock alone!” I shrieked right back at him. “God!” Needing to vent, I picked up the first thing I could throw and hurled it at him. Too bad it only ended up being my wadded-up pair of panties.
Colton flinched, slinging up his arm to dodge the blow before the soft cotton bounced off his forearm, leaving it completely unharmed. Lifting a single eyebrow, he glanced down at them as they landed on his thigh. Then he snorted out an amused sound. “Panties? Really? Ooh, I’m so scared. Please don’t hurt me with your soft, harmless underwear.”
“Oh, you bastard,” I fumed. “I’ll find something harmless to heave at your big, stupid head.” Whirling toward my nightstand, I spotted my Kindle and leaped for it. That would leave a dent.
“Oh, shit.” Colton scrambled for me, wrapping his arms around my arms and pinning them to my sides. “Maybe we should both just calm down,” he panted from behind me, struggling to keep me from flailing just as much as I was struggling to break loose.
“No!” I bucked against him. “No, no, no. This fucking sucks. No one’s ever made me come before from just their stupid dick alone. Why you? Why?” Exhausted from my tantrum, I settled into his arms and rested my cheek against my pillow, drained yet mortified.
Being with him wasn’t supposed to feel as good as it had. I mean, I’d wanted good. But I’d wanted good and over. This had been the kind of good I wanted to keep. Why had it been that kind of good? “I just don’t get it.”
His hold on me morphed from containment to comfort as he kissed my shoulder blade and began to rub my arm. “I guess I’m just that awesome,” he lamented.
I sniffed. “Well, what the hell are we supposed to do about it?”
With a shrug, he mumbled, “I don’t know. Fuck some more, I guess.”
I lifted my face and tried to glare at him over my shoulder. “How many times?”
He shook his head. “Like I have any idea. This is unchartered territory.”
I ground my teeth. “That’s so not reassuring at all.”
“Well, I don’t know!” he snapped, climbing off me and backing away so I could sit upright and whirl around to face him head-on. “I just know I’ve never been with a girl I haven’t gotten tired of. So, it’s gotta happen sooner or later between us, right? Meaning...we just keep getting it on until we finally get over it.”
I didn’t like thinking I’d be just like the others or someone he’d grow tired of after a while. As much as I’d only wanted a one-time deal, the idea of him not being as addicted to me as I apparently was to him was just not acceptable. It made me panic.
What if I kept wanting him, and he stopped wanting me?
“I don’t like that deal,” I blurted. “I mean, what if you get over it sooner than I do? I don’t want to be left hanging just because…just because...”
“Oh, Jesus. Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “If I get it out of my system sooner than you do, then I’ll just...I promise you I’ll keep on until you get tired of it too.”
“Right…you’d just fake it and force yourself to fuck me, huh? No matter how sick of me you were? You do realize how ridiculous that sounds, don’t you?”
“Well, then you come up with the suggestions,” he muttered. “Damn. I told you what I thought would work. Why don’t you tell me what you want to do?”
I bit my lip before admitting, “I want to fuck you some more.” That was pretty much the only thing I knew.