“Both ladies are finally asleep,” I said quietly.
“Good.” He sat upright and wiped his face with both hands. “Thank you. Where’s Beau?”
“He fell asleep watching movies with Teagan so Caroline said he could stay the night.”
“Probably for the best.” His voice sounded hoarse, which killed me.
“Man, what happened tonight?”
He immediately hung his head. “I don’t know. I just…I lost it. I swore to myself when this started that I would never lose my shit. I wouldn’t lose my temper, I wouldn’t yell, I wouldn’t…fuck, but I totally lost it.” He wiped his face again and sniffed. “I can’t believe I yelled at her. I know she can’t help it. I know it only makes things worse. Why couldn’t I just keep it to-fucking-gether?”
I shrugged. “Because you’re human.”
A bitter laugh spilled from him. “A little too human tonight. I can usually read her better. I can tell when she wants space or when she needs me around. I guess she wanted space tonight, except I tried to be there. Big mistake.”
“But a fixable one,” I reasoned. “From what I heard, neither of you said anything that couldn’t be taken back. You’re still… tonight was a hiccup. That’s all.”
“Yeah, but how much longer is this shit going to last? The therapy sessions haven’t worked. The medicine hasn’t worked. Nothing I do works. I just want my wife back. My children want their mother. I want…Jesus fucking Christ, I hate this. I hate being so fucking worthless and helpless to her. I hate not being able to fix anything. Why does nothing I do help her?”
When he couldn’t speak anymore, emotion clogged my veins before I cleared my throat and shook my head. “I don’t think what you’re doing is worthless. I think maybe it is working. You are helping her. But maybe all the stuff that’s been fixed on the inside just hasn’t started showing results on the outside yet.”
Noel didn’t immediately answer. He waited a quiet, contemplative moment before saying, “Maybe. I hope so.” Then he lifted his gaze to me. “Thank you, Colton. For everything. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you tonight. You saved the day.”
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 20
I only received those three text messages from Colton on Saturday morning. I don’t know how, but they kept me full of hope and promise and excitement throughout the entire day, and yet they didn’t…because I wanted more from him.
It was like reading a really good book. I wanted to rush through it because I wanted it all now, and yet I wanted to draw it out and make it last for as long as possible because I didn’t want it to end.
The damn boy was conflicting my heart.
I ignored the little warning bells clanging in the back of my mind, telling me how bad it was to count on and look forward to my next encounter with him because it wasn’t serious between us, we weren’t starting anything long-term. But I didn’t want to think about that. So I didn’t.
I was still rocking my afterglow all through Saturday. I even smiled during karaoke night at the bar. And I smiled as I fell asleep that night when I got home from work.
The next morning, I woke with a grin because my phone was chiming with a new message. Not sure how I knew it was him, but I did. I was even sure I knew what it’d say.
And I was right.
I replied:
And then ran my fingers over the screen where his name was displayed at the top.
He quipped back:
And that was our communication for the day.
I didn’t realize I had the phone pressed to my heart until I was leaving the bedroom with it. Blushing hard, I hurried it back to my nightstand to set it down, cleared my throat, and made my way to the kitchen.
Theo was the only one stirring. He grumbled a halfhearted greeting from where he stood leaning against the counter and hovered over the coffeepot that was still brewing as he bit into a piece of toast.
“Morning,” I chirped, unable to stop smiling until I opened the cabinet to pull down my special loaf of wheat bread so I could make myself some toast too. The bag was still there, but it was empty save for a few crumbs.
Mouth falling open, I turned to gape at Theo as he swallowed the last piece of my bread. He’d never eaten my bread before. I don’t think he even liked wheat bread. “What…?” I started, completely confounded.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said with his mouth still full as he lifted his hand to his bulging cheeks. “Was that your bread?”
I blinked, still confused. “You know it was my bread,” I said slowly. He’d seen me eat that bread every morning he’d ever stayed overnight w